BLANK NOISE ACTION HEROES

Action Hero from South Mumbai

2011-10-11T01:27:00.000-07:00

Me and a friend (both women) came home late one night after a film.. a male friend dropped us till the gate since it was late.. around 1 am. The gate was locked and our watchman was asleep. After some knocking and shouting, he finally opened his eyes and lying on his bed he told us "badi jaldi hai kya" (in a big hurry?). we ignored it the first time. but he still didn't move. we shouted out to him again, he got up this time, came to the gate and looked at us demeaningly through the bars and said "badi jaldi hai kya". Our male friend told him to talk properly and the watchman started abusing him. We realised he was drunk. He started accusing us of coming late in the night often and how he was doing a favour to us by opening the gate for us every time. basically he had 'judged' us for being the kind of girls who go out late and being drunk, he had no control over his tongue and all that he perhaps thought of us in his sick head, became vocalised. A verbal fight ensued.

The presence of a male friend eventually did help, but there were other things we did which contributed in dealing with the situation -

1. shouting out LOUD that he was drunk, so that we would wake up people and bring attention to the fact that he's drunk

2. threatening to call the police

3. next day, complained to our landlord

4. i also went and asked another watchman what this guy's full name was and didn't explain why i was asking for his full name. I wonder if that scared him off that maybe i was going to complain to the police... coz he didn't show up for two days after.

5. i continue to go out at night after that, just to show that he doesnt intimidate me

Time: 1 a.m.

Action Hero felt judged, anger, fear, unsafe, helpless

Location: South Mumbai

Age: 28 years

Action Hero Shria

2011-05-31T00:09:00.000-07:00

This Incident happened in the gym in which i work out. There are mirrors all over the place and one can exactly see as to what others are doing. I was sitting on the cycle and working out when I noticed that a man's eyes were keenly following the movement of my breasts and I could see him staring at the outline of my bra which was visible because of my sweat.

The next day, I wore the Blank Noise t-shirt that says What are you staring at in Kannada. That still didn't make him stop looking at me. So, I decided to put posters of BN at the gym...I put it and someone tore it off in a few hours. Hence, I had to execute my plan 3 which was to distribute the letters (the letters that contain the action hero stories)....I carried around 4 letters with me and gave it to that guy. He was happy to receive letters from me and thought it was inviting. But once he started to read them, his expression changed entirely. I walked away.

The next day onwards, he stopped coming to the gym or maybe he chose a different time to work out.

Action Hero Shria felt happy!

current age-19

age at the time of experience-19

location- Bangalore

thank you Blank Noise.

Action Hero Playlist

2011-05-23T23:06:00.000-07:00

Is there a song that puts you in the Action Hero mood? Let's build an action hero playlist.

It could be a song that uplifts you. A song that you like to hum when you take a walk. A song that reflects your attitude. A song that inspires you to take on an attitude. Any song that your Action Hero song. Send it! Let's SING!

If it's on youtube- send us the link. We'l add your name to the list below and link it to the song. if your action hero song isn't online, do write down the lyrics OR better still sing it yourself/ upload it and email the link.

Action Heroes playlist:

Monica Mody
Amruta Mehta
Annie Zaidi
yours?

Action Hero Sreyoshi Dey

2011-05-15T23:09:00.000-07:00

Yet another day of pushing shoving nudging…every morning, the whole process passes in the picture window of my mind. Instances caught live in the camera of my eyes, and featured every day of my life. Sad truth!

I sat up. Moved out. Out on to the streets. Usual day, usual work. Running after a bus, get down and change for an auto and then run for the 10:30 am lecture. Easy life. Hard going.

Starts from the bus. They push against me, and I can say nothing. Anything said meets the reply, “it’s a crowded bus, where do you expect me to stand?”, and a leering smile follows. I box the man a hundred times in my imagination, in reality, am able to do nothing. Auto-the same old nudging, the same old pushing…no amount of bag and elbow can protect my dignity. I have given up.

OR have I? I have gotten tired of putting up this act of ignorance and adjustment.

Date: 4 years back

Place: Public bus

Event: I punched the middle aged man hard in the stomach, screamed myself hoarse, and caught him by the collar. A man old enough to my father, to have a family, and yet so shamelessly pushing against a young girl, considering her HELPLESS!

Result: The Man rushed off the bus without an appeal or apology. Co-passengers stared at me, all surprised – I don’t think they were surprised at my courage, but where surprised at my audacity to raise my voice.

Reaction: I was left shaking with anger and fear. It was my first time. I had finally found my voice. The incident re-instilled faith in my own self, the faith that I had lost since the age of six when I was first molested in a Public Transport.

Oath: Will not let go of any single person who hurts my dignity and self respect. I won’t adjust, I won’t ignore. I will fight back. Every time that I fight back, I know I will also ensure the safety of alteast two more women who would have been the next victims otherwise.

Action Hero Chitra

2011-01-30T11:28:00.000-08:00

It was the day when I was scheduled to pick up my insurance money and buy a new phone. Naturally happy, I began to look forward to that part of the day. I got back from my university in a bus and started to walk home from the bus stop. I was wearing a red back-pack and long, up to the mid of my thigh, boy t-shirt, jeans and shoes. I was walking on the side of the road when I saw an old man walk a little ahead of me, he was almost my father’s age and wore a white collared t shirt and white shorts. What was odd about him was that he kept turning his balding head around and staring right at my chest by the 2nd time he did I looked down at my own chest to see if there was something written on my t shirt that he was trying to read (like a message t-shirt) but it was an almost plain grey t shirt with no print whatsoever on the chest. I grew uneasy, but the next time he turned back to look I asked him. “What are you looking at? “ With a SMILE on his face he answered “booooooobs” (yes, with an elongated ooo sound). I was shocked! the first feeling I always get is shock. Shocked that someone can say or do such a thing, hey I thought yesterday was Independence Day! Anyway as he smiled happy with his answer and looked ahead continued to walk. I sprang on him from behind and gave two and a half punches of the back of his head (medulla oblongata) all this time confused whether respect the elders clause would allow me to take such an action. He started to sprint as no old man has run before and continued to walk back home. I wish I could tell you that I went home bought a phone and lived happily ever after, but I didn’t.

I got home and oiled my hair ate a ton of food to counter the rage and decided to go out to buy the God forsaken phone. My lovely sister and a close friend wanted to company me. The three of us sat bundled in the auto. I was hugged my red bag for comfort as I sat towards the exit. My friend lit up a cigarette and started to smoke. I noticed there was a man on the bike following us from the last 1.5kms at least. I tugged closer at my bag, as if sensing my fear the man started to ride with the auto his bike right next to my legs. He kept extending his right arms towards the auto.

I was scared, but more furious I tried to grab hold of his hand so my friend could cigarette burn it, but it was too late and he had speed away. I don’t know whether it was the confidence of hitting an offender just an hour ago or just pure outrage that fuelled my fire. Just as luck would have it ahead was a traffic light and the signal was red. I handed the bag to my friend and asked my sister to get out of the auto; we started to look for the man who thought women were public property. My sister looked towards the right and I looked at the left side. I spotted the biker staring at the signal, before he could even see me I planted a solid, like never before, punch on his face. He fell with his bike scratching a car in the process and causing a loud thud. My sister came running as he gained his balance my sister took the keys off the ignition and I alerted the traffic policeman to ask the man. We were taken aside and I narrated my story as he pressed his hand on his jaw where I had punched him. The policeman congratulated me and asked me to wait as the s I was somehow due to me on the crossroads in a minute (because the governor’s house and office was on that road)

We waited, the offender spoke and in a very how can you do this to me tone, he said “bah… I am saying sorry no.. bah why you are doing this?....... you are so cunning bah” I guess my sister felt good as well when she threatened him that she would punch him this time, maybe it was revenge for all the times she was harassed. In the meantime the circle inspector came in his jeep and I explained the case to him, offender was made to sit in the jeep and his bike was ceased I had to write my name and address in a register. All the offender could say was, “take them also they were smoking” to which the cop paid no attention. I figured that whether or not any action is taken when he reaches the police station the inconvenience caused and the bribe given would be reason enough for him to think twice before he misbehaves. Two down, many more to go!

age at the time of experience: 22

current age: 22

location: streets of Hyderabad

time : afternoon

Action Hero felt shocked

Action Hero Objective Onlooker

2011-01-21T11:41:00.000-08:00

My day started today by a frantic search for an auto, and due to the rains, the one I finally found charged me extra. It was a pretty uneventful journey until we reached the flyover, where the marvel of a 21st century machine broke down and I had to step out and wait for about thirty minutes for the driver to repair it.

After a rather long thirty minutes we were moving again and I finally reached college, only to figure out that the class was so unimportant that we ended up watching a movie in it.

Oh well, and the rest of college went pretty uneventful. Who knew, what was in store for me that day. And finally with a resigned thought Me and my friend V, got into the first bus we saw, a rather crowded one at that. No place to find we stood on the isle and started talking about the trivial things in life (not so trivial after all).

Suddenly after the nice long conversation we had, we realised we had missed our stop almost ten minutes ago and had to get off two stops later. Almost getting into a panic situation we crossed the road (which involved us lunging on a two-sided barbed fence on a road divider), and to our good fortune, found the same bus going towards the opposite direction (that is, back to our stop).

We had our bouts of laughter, and little mental jigs, when our stop came and we went our separate ways. V’s house is a walk away from the stop, whereas mine needs an auto. But to my horror I found absolutely no auto around and decided I would walk till I find one. I did find one, but by then I was panting and nearly collapsing with shortness of breath.

Somehow I did reach home. It was nearly 5:00pm then. And when I shuffled through my bag, to pay the auto driver, what did I see? My wallet was MISSING! I didn’t notice it before, because V had paid for both the bus journeys due to my lack of available change. I reached into my pocket and by the Lords grace found the exact amount and paid him. I rushed upstairs and dashed into my room, emptied all the contents of my bag including the little candies.

My wallet contained EVERYTHING! Including my credit, debit and ATM cards and most of my identity cards (thankfully not my driving license and college ID card, which I keep together separately). I guess it was the crowded bus which ‘magically’ made my wallet disappear (no, I don’t mean real magic, I mean PICK-POCKET). I am amazed at how pick-pockets work with such perfection. I couldn’t even feel any movement and I’m dead sure I had it before I stepped into the bus. I’m not sure whether it was anger or sadness, but I gradually got that unwanted sinking feeling. I figured it was both. Both at different levels at different times.

Panic-stricken that I was I first got my cards blocked and then talked to my dad about what to do about the army dependent cards, and he told me that I needed to lodge an FIR in the police station immediately. It was already 7:00pm by then, and sure about not finding an auto I took the car keys and made my aunt sit with me (you may ask why I don’t drive to college. Well let’s just say, my family suffers from paranoia).

We somehow reached the police station, for which I even skipped a signal in between. And still in a bit of an imbalanced mental state, when I was about to park, I banged into a police officer’s car (no, I’m not writing this sitting in jail). I started on an apologising tangent and it took me my most sad puppy face to soften the officer to an extent that he reversed my car himself for me (humanity is not dead) and told me to that it was okay and to be careful from now on.

The rest went smoothly, everything in place. And my aunt and me headed back home with the FIR in hand and a satisfaction on the face.

It wasn’t too far from home after that, already 9:00pm now, there was an unruly man on a bike who came in from my right side (read, nowhere), and almost rammed into my car. Luckily he pressed the brakes just in time for no damage to happen. Just as I was about to move on, this obnoxious hooligan of a 20 something starts to abuse left right and centre. I stayed patient for sometime, kept my cool and tried to explain to him that he needed to be more careful, since he could see me better than I could.

No, it didn’t work. Politeness never really does. Finally I had to switch on my parking lights and my aunt and me had to get off the car. He abused like crazy (still trying to figure out why) and well after a point I abused back (it’s below my dignity to use abuses in Hindi, whatever he said, I gave back an almost exact English translation). But after a point it got even more ugly, when he started to roll up his sleeves and tried to advance towards me, threatening me that he would show me ‘my place’. What did I do after that? Oh.. I had a pepper spray clipped on to my pocket. And yes, I used it! Right onto his filthy abusive face! (In no time at all I had turned into a true hardened Delhi-ite)

I heard a loud squeal. My aunt had a proud expression. And I felt a sense of victory. Maybe it was the pent up aggression that was getting nurtured in me by the highly skilled pick-pocket and added up by this creep. I did not sit back in the car immediately as my aunt instructed me to. I did not flee or react to the wordless protest (involving a lot of baritone shrieking). But I just stood there and stared. Stared at the helplessness, this man wanted to subject me to, a few minutes ago. Started at the likes of all the culprits of crimes in Delhi. Stared at the irony, that he wanted to show me ‘my place’.

After those glorious five minutes, I sat back in my car (probed more by the honking at the back). As I put on my seat belt, I brought down my power window, and with a plain, unmoved and nonchalant expression on my face, I said (in Hindi, of course), “bhaia, now could you please move, We have to get somewhere you know.” and whizzed past…

Action Hero Z

2011-01-12T21:52:00.000-08:00

It was a regular weekday evening and i accompanied my grand father to the pharmacy. While he was buying his medicines i went to the grocery store right next to it to buy chocolates. while i walked into the store i noticed two boys outside snickering and smiling and as i walked out one of grabbed me by my waist and tried to feel me up! i pushed him, gave him a dirty look, called him names and hurried away. My grand father noticed my change in behavior and enquired me about it. He then walked up to that boy, hit him with his walking stick and made him apologize. That boy claimed that it was a mistake and left the place with his friend! i was in sixth standard when this happened! I was twelve years of age!

This was my one my first experience of being eve teased! Seven years long years have gone by and I have not seen any change in a a man's(most men) behavior towards a woman or a girl! It is probably getting worse!

age at the time of experience: 12

current age: 19

Location: Koramangla, Bangalore

Action Hero Z felt angry and amused

Action Hero Annie Zaidi

2011-01-08T12:11:00.000-08:00

I was walking to the station one night, back from work, when I heard a voice. It is saying something like: Mera mann to dekh, kitna badaa hai.

I was taken aback. Someone was saying he has a big heart. But I thought perhaps he is talking on the phone. But the person who had said it was walking behind me and then he quickly moved forward so that he was now walking beside me.

I glanced sideways, puzzled. He was not looking at me, but he was saying those words to me. I noticed first that as he walked, his arms didn't swing. Then I noticed what he was doing. He was holding his thing in his hand, exposed, and what he was actually saying to me was: Mera lund dekh, kitna badaa hai.

The train station was across the road, less than twenty steps away. I stopped walking and thought I should break into a run. Or turn and walk back towards the petrol pump and see if the man will follow.

But the man had paused too. He was looking at me now. And I did not want to run. Not from this man who thought he could do this just because I was walking alone and assumed I would be scared.

Something like this had happened once before, when I was in college. There was a big group of us girls out on the road last time and it was in the middle of the afternoon. Last time, all the girls had fled from that man. We crossed the road to avoid him. We squealed in fear and disgust.

This time, I did not want to scream. I wanted to say something. But only one word came out of my mouth: Police. So I just stood there shouting that one word over and over: Police! Police! Police!

The man ran away the moment I said the first 'Police!', and he quickly put away his thing back inside his pants as he ran.

age at the time of experience: 32
current age: 32
time: 9 pm
location: Churchgate station, Mumbai
Action Hero Annie felt: Anger and amusement

Action Hero Anon # 5

2011-01-04T06:22:00.000-08:00

I have several stories but Ill limit it to 2 perhaps :

Incident 1: I was walking down a street at around 11am and talking on the phone. I was trying to postpone a meeting I had set up. A man coming from the opposite direction slid his hand into my T-shirt which of course caught me by surprise completely.

My reaction: I hesitated just a moment then forgetting to hang up on my caller I turned around, ran and caught up with the miscreant. I caught him by his collar - he was surprised and turned around. Then I started to shout at him at the top of my voice and in the local language -Kannada. The man I think was quite shocked and didn't really understand. Then the same people who all noticed the man sliding his hand into my T-shirt gathered and tried to pacify me (!! instead of reprimanding this man, of course why am I surprised). I shouted back at all of them and said they watched and chose to remain quiet so why pretend like they care now. I was very very angry. By then the man freed himself and ran away! When my Dad heard about this he warned me and asked me to stop reacting to these incidents and just accept them else these men will throw acid on my face. I never stop embarassing these guys so they know that its not ok to do what they do and its not always going to be met with silence, bowing of the head and walking away!

Incident 2: I was getting out of the auto and had my handbag and my laptop bag in either hands. There was a bus stand full of people where I had to get off. As I got off the auto a man commented and said 'Pull your T-shirt down.' As an adult woman I hadn't experienced street sexual harassment in a very long time so this time I was quite shocked. (out of practice I suppose)

My reaction: I turned around and very calmly told him in Hindi 'I did not ask for your opinion and it would do you good to save your comments to yourself. You re lucky I have bags in both my hands which prevent me from physically attacking you and Im quelling my emotions coz Im compelled to scream and embarass you at this bus stand.'

Almost instantly the man started apologizing to me. This time round I did not respond 'It's okay' to an apology.

Location: Bangalore and Hyderabad

Time :11am, 6pm

Age: 22, 28

Current Age: 28

This Action Hero felt violated, anger - lots of anger, amused, sense of control when I responded/reacted, doer- im not the one to keep quiet/lower my head/slump my shoulders while I walk

Blogathon 2006 : Author Anindita

2010-12-28T06:49:00.000-08:00

First posted for the Blank Noise Blogathon

On being harassed…

This was written for the Blank Noise Blog-a-thon on Street Harrassment. I couldn't think of a clever title so this will have to do for the moment. This is to all the men out there who dehumanise me, and themselves, regularly and don't even realise what they're destroying.

I could meet your eyes
unafraid, and smile
in recognition
the special kind
that strangers share

I could look at you
and feel a perfect
unbroken love,
the kind that springs
from common humanity

I could imagine,
your life and send
a silent hug, air-borne
to your children
who I will never meet.

But it's hard because
your eyes
burn a leer
into my breasts

It's hard because
your hands reach
where they shouldn't
This is my body.

It's hard because
I know that
alone in dark places,
you are a beast.

Blogathon 2006: author A

2010-12-28T06:45:00.000-08:00

First posted for the Blank Noise Blogathon

Learning the hard way

How the streets shaped me. The way I walk. The things I say. The clothes I wear. My posture. My thoughts. My need to figure out what you are thinking so that I can pre-empt it, prevent it, forestall it. The constant, endless staying on watch. How my body never relaxes.

I have long learnt to mistrust my body that seems to send out signals, messages, silent acknowledgments unbeknownst to me. Betraying me. Letting me down. I learnt to walk in certain ways - with my elbows stucking out slightly, with shoulders turned inwards slightly, my steps moving away from anyone on the pavement. Measuring the distance between me and you, while you are still 5 steps away. I can do this while laughing over a joke, drinking chai or working out a problem in my head. It feels as natural as breathing now, even though it's not.

Here, on different turf, I am re-learning the dynamics of my body. The new interpretations. New ways of seeing. Of thinking. Of dressing. I am on high alert for new, unwritten rules; learning easily. I am also un-learning. Uncurling. Letting go. I experiment gingerly. Lean over the table for a book and stay like that chatting with a friend for a while without having to worry about someone staring at my butt. Reach up on high shelves for something, learning not to instinctively pull down my shirt. Wear a tight shirt and not spend all evening with my arms crossed in an awkward stance. Lean into someone and laugh at a joke. Do a mad little jig on the road. Walk home at midnight by myself with no fear of anything except for the crazy cat that sometimes springs out at me 5 houses down the street. Close my eyes and catch a quick nap on the bus.

Sometimes, just for the joy of the feeling, I stretch in public - a long, luxurious stretch. First my toes uncurling, then my legs follow reaching forward. My back arches and I stretch my arms as far back as they can go. Close my eyes, yawn and let my head fall back. Stay like that for a few delicious moments. Open my eyes to find no one watching. Smile.

[As part of the blank noise project blog-a-thon. I posted about it here]

Blogathon 2006: Author A

2010-12-28T04:09:00.000-08:00

First posted for the Blank Noise Blogathon 2006

Blank Noise

I usually stay away from opinion posts in my blog. In part, because I will rather listen, discuss, engage with something I feel strongly about than to merely write about it.

But, over the past week or so, I have been following the Blank Noise Project with interest. It is a blog-o-thon to protest against eve-teasing. Most of the posts I have read so far have been intensely personal chronicles by women, most of whose stories resonate with me.

I believe I am fortunate in this regard. I recall only few memories of open eve-teasing. Of bottom pinching (age 18: Andheri station in Bombay. Rush hour, a crush of bodies and moist hands that reached out and grabbed me) and thrusting men (ages 15 - 23: numerous small incidents, most of which I have conveniently forgotten). But, I do remember the fear - that trapped feeling.

Age 16. A remote hill station in India. I and some classmates of mine are walking back from "camps". Camps was yet another residual tradition from our British colonial days that our school faithfully followed. We, a group of 12th standard girls, had just spent 4 days in the closest approximation of "in the wild" we had. [background: Camps involved backpacking to a remote campsite, cooking by campfire, living cramped like sardines in tents. I loved it.]. We were exhausted - 4 days of collecting your own water, cooking your own food, building your own fires - and we were beat. Add to that the unnecessary large bags laden with clothes that we had not worn (after all, we were 16 or 17, and this was our first outing in "regular clothes" that we had had in months) and the long march home, and we had never felt more tired and irritable than then.

The journey back was along the main road. We had somehow spilt up into three groups, depending on our walking pace and our group consisted of 6 girls. The other two groups - one of whom was with our teacher - was nowhere in sight. Every car, bus, truck, auto, bike that passed us on the highway were filled with men who yelled "baby, baby" and thrust out their arms out us, forcing us to walk single file as far back from the road as possible. It did not help that some of us were wearing sleeveless shirts - after all, we were just coming back from camps.

We were humiliated and scared. And furious.

Then, it happened. Two men on a bike slowed down next to us, keeping pace with our walking.

-C'mon baby. oh baby baby.[kissing and slurping sounds]. girls girls. come here baby.

They were within arm's reach of us. Suddenly one of the girls snapped - she flung a bottle of water in his face.

The situation went from bad to terribly-filmi-infinitely worse. The man slowed down and started yelling. He threatened to get off his bike and come and hit us. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. We were walking faster and faster, none of us looking at the men, just walking. Yet, I can't remember moving at all - all I remember are the torrent of abusive words he were hurling at us. And, then, just as abruptly, he left.

For a couple of minutes, we just kept walking in silence, not daring to look back, not daring to hope that they had really gone. But, there was silence and we finally stopped and looked around. I can't remember the details - some of the girls broke down, some of us just stayed mutely frightened, yet others discussed what we should do. We reached a common consensus - that we will wait till the group with our teacher caught up with us and walk together.

It occurs to me now that our teacher should not have been a source of protection for us. She was 25 years old, as slim and as small as any of us. Yet, we needed something to fall back on and as the authority figure, we decided that no harm will come to us if we were with her.

20 strained minutes went by and then we caught sight of the other group. Relief flooded us as we explained everything to our teacher and friends. We were relieved enough to go back to joking and talking loudly. Only our teacher stayed watchfully silent. She must have been petrified - this was a tough situation to face on one's own but she was also accountable for 15 young girls.

The noise of a bike in the distance. Again strained silence. But, just a couple of strange men we have never seen before, whooping at us. Then another bike. And then another. By this time, we are more relaxed. And, then suddenly, they are back and they have another friend. We were walking in double file by then. Without realizing it the older looking, more buxom girls were on the inside of the file and the flatter, younger looking girls on the side closest to the road. I was on the outside and I could smell the man as he got off the bike and came towards us. I could not see him - I was too scared to look.

My teacher fell back two steps and stopped him with some quiet words "These are young girls. Don't do anything to them. They didn't do anything. Don't you dare touch them." He is yelling and screaming the few english words he knows "fucking. these girls coming here for fucking. we fucking them." and then frustrated with his lack of english, he switched back to his native tongue, still cursing. Now that we understood the words he was saying, the possibility of those words coming true seemed absurdly real. Absurdly, because it didn't seem possible that this was happening to us.

Maybe it was the tough stance that my teacher took or her quiet words. Maybe it was the fear coming off us. Maybe it was the thought that these girls looked rich and their parents may have connections that could get him killed if he touched them. Maybe it was his friends on the bike, frightened by the sudden serious turn to the events, that were yelling for him to come back. But, he suddenly turned away and got back on his bike. As he went past us, he spat at us.

There were no more jokes, no more talking till we got back to school.

Years later, I was telling some of my cousin's friends this story and one of them said "well, you were asking for it - wearing sleeveless t-shirts in a remote place like that and walking along the highway." What shocked me was not so much his sentiment, widely shared with a large number of people, but the fact that I almost instantly agreed.

This is what I fear the most. The invisible rules that guide what you wear, do, say - distinguishing you from victim to "asking-for-it". The endless need to stay on guard. Be watchful. Go with male friends. Don't stay out too late. Dress carefully. Don't call attention to yourself. Especially don't call sexual attention to yourself.

At one level, these are basic simple precautions. At another, they are an antithesis to everything that the women's rights movement has fought for. And, the time when young girls like me start unknowingly, sub-consciously buying into these notions is when we need to stand up and fight against these ideas. The Blank Noise Project is a start.

I will like to end this post on a happier note. Two instances when I saw women stand up, fight back and turn against the men who abused them. Both in Bombay.

A man passing by a group of college girls on his bike, reaches out and grabs a girl's breast. She whips around, grabs him by the arm as he goes past, succeeding in pulling him off the bike. With the aid of her friends she drags him to the nearest police station which is 20 minutes away. During this time, he goes from cocky to scared to petrified - at one point, he breaks down into tears and begs the girls to let him go, saying that he has a wife and kids back home. At this, the girl retorts "All the more reason to ensure that you never treat women like this again."

A late-night movie at a theatre. As we try to leave the theatre, we can hear yelling at the entrance. The crowd is moving very slowly and everyone is looking towards something going on near the door. As we approach, we see a man on his knees saying "sorry, sorry, sorry" rapidly. A young attractive woman is standing above him, asking him "will you ever do that again? WILL YOU? WILL YOU? DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ANY WOMAN LIKE THAT AGAIN."

As a young girl, seeing these women take on the men so boldly signaled hope of a kind. True - these situations don't always turn out well. Men have been known to strike back and/or to gang up against the abused woman. Worse has happened. I am not saying the above cases are solutions. But, they, like the Blank Noise Project, are the beginnings of a move away from that crippling fear so many of us have felt in the face of overt, ubiquitous sexual harassment.

Blogathon 2006 : Author Amodini

2010-12-28T03:42:00.000-08:00

Hai, that love of euphemisms ! (For Blank Noise Blog-a-thon)

Wikipedia defines "eve-teasing" as a euphemism. And what a euphemism ! It's actually a nice word for molestation - hear, hear ! And we need nice words for serious problems like sexual harassment, because how would we, otherwise decent people, live in sanity in our "high-moralled cultural" society, where on one hand we revere the woman as mother, but really can't resist a lascivicous grope when the opportunity presents itself !

And what about the woman upon whom this euphemism is visited ? Have you ever thought of your mother, sister, wife, friend subject to this violation when they step out on the street ? Have you REALLY thought about it ? Or are we now so inured to the subject of abuse on women that we accept it as a part of life ? After all, what do you expect when you go out on the street ALL ALONE ?

When we turn a blind eye to this problem, or we suggest to our daughters to not venture out alone, and to travel with a male, we condone the actual problem. We accept that it is OK for women to be harassed in public places. We accept that women are unsafe alone, that women need protection, and are unable to stand by themselves. And that is the message we give out to women and the rest of society.

In my mind, molestation on the street, occurs primarily because of the mindset of Indian society. Issues like street harassment, violence against women, foeticide and infanticide are manifestations of the same problem. When we think of women as liabilities, burdens, needing dowries, needing protection, as unable to do anything without the protection of men, then really is it a surprise that such attitudes come back and boomerang ? When in our patriarchial society we accept that men are superior, women inferior, and can be burnt, beaten and molested , that they are in fact powerless to stop violations against themselves, then what do you think the women AND men learn ?

Some interesting links on this topic are :

- Eve teasing on television
- Vikram's article on indian sexuality
- India Parenting
- The worth of our daughters

Blogathon 2006- Author Amit Deshmukh

2010-12-28T03:24:00.000-08:00

First posted for the Blank Noise Blogathon 2006

A "Burkhaa" clad "Truth".

It was a very cheerful evening in a long time for me. Being stationed in a town which does not allow me the company I have in my home town or even Mumbai, I was longing for this one. It was a long time since I had been among young people; otherwise most of my days are spent among foul mouthed colleagues (those BC MC types) who are close to the respectable 50 years mark. Only god knows how much respect they do deserve! Anyways, this fine evening, my sister Ash, who is a hotel management student, had called some of her classmates and good friends for a dinner. Chole Bhature and pulao was on the menu, and as they arrived one by one, some arrived later and some kept coming and going, I could sense that they were a happy bunch of kids, and I was happy to be a part of such an evening. One of them was a pretty, medium heighted girl, called Avni. She was quieter than all of them, but whenever she talked, she gathered all the attention. She kept strutting in and out of the guest room, thanks to her constantly beeping cell phone. Between pranks and jokes, one of them asked Avni to recite an Urdu verse, possibly the one which is chanted in the mosque during an “Azaan”. She recited it so well that I liked it, just because it was fairly a long and tongue twisting one. On my asking her that how she managed it, she just smiled, the smile had nothing joyful about it. As all of them left, I just kept visualizing her pretty eyebrows!

This evening I casually discussed about this “blank noise project” with my mom and sis. And somewhere in between Avni found a mention. My sis just asked me how do you think she knows that “azaan” so well. I guessed as far as my silly mind could reach. I told because she stays in Panigate(an area mainly inhabited by muslims, which was often razed during the post-godhra riots) she should be hearing it daily and that’s how she memorized it. My sis, too threw a similar smile, which had nothing joyful about it. And thus the story began.

Avni was an engineering student before she joined hotel management. She was forcefully married off by her parents without even checking the background of her “sasuraal”. Within 4 months of the marriage, she decided to part ways with her husband. The reason- after marriage she was sexually harassed several times by her father-in-law, not just her husband. Dowry was not the reason here. Just because she was pretty, she paid the price.

Baroda, my home town is a hot place, and dusty too. Girls while biking here normally do wrap their entire face with a cotton “chunni”, leaving eyes open, to protect them from heat and dust. Avni while driving to college does this so that her husband or any of her relatives do not recognize her. For them she is in Poona, studying. While coming to college she is in the usual uniform, but suppose you want to meet her outside college hours, she will turn up fully clad in a “ burkha”. I was shocked to know this. I feel this may look too simple to read, but imagine the daily trauma she has to go through. I asked my sister, then how did she memorize this verse? Because she wears a “burkha” she is apprehended many a times in the area she stays, and by chanting these verses, she can prove that she is a Muslim. She is just 23, a broken marriage, a society driven by lecherous passions, ever watchful relatives, and thousand such things!

I only pray to the almighty, please accept her every chant of the “azaan”, and let her get some real justice (she has filed for a divorce, but her sick husband is not allowing her that Right even!)

“Why is this world driven by so many extremes? Most of the Women in this country ask for whatever little they could have for themselves, but they are denied even that.”

(Blogathon 2006) author junkmailonly

2010-12-28T03:18:00.000-08:00

First posted for the 2006 Blogathon

It was a month or two ago. I was returning home, from downtown Los Angeles. Tall, shiny buildings, traffic clogging every junction and people waiting to go home. I stepped into the last Dash F - it runs past 23rd St at Figueroa before going around school. As I sat between two women, all of us gathering every thought we'd tucked away throughout the day, to think about in these few minutes... the man sitting opposite me said hi.

Hello I said and looked away. I remembered him as lascivious from a bus ride before. He had said something about how Asian women are all dark and pretty. Not really, I remember having said to myself about the dark bit. But this time, he proceeded to keep his shirt unbuttoned and kept staring at me as he touched himself now and then. He got off a stop before me after a cheerful "see you again!"

He could have groped me and I would have still felt as violated as I did that night.
Add to that a bus driver who introduces me to everyone as his wife-to-be. He also tells me loudly (whenever I happen to be in his bus) about how my boyfriend should have wild sex with me. "If only you'd be my woman, I'd show you good times," he said once as his eyes tried to reach behind my shirt. Only my boring black bra and a pair of breasts, nothing unusual I wanted to say.

Sometimes I think these stories are worthless to tell. But at others like these, maybe not

To recognize Women's Day, and as part of an effort to build a core constituency that is aware of the Blank Noise Project, we're organizing a blogathon for Tuesday, the 7th of March. Blank Noise is asking other bloggers to post about their experiences of sexual harassment - as a victim, perpetrator or bystander - at work, at home or in the public sphere. On International Women's Day, which is March 8th, it would be exciting to see the theme of harassment become audible on the Indian blogosphere.

If you will participate, email blurtblanknoise@gmail.com to let us know - then on March 7th, we'll link to all the participating bloggers from the Blank Noise homepage, and hopefully it will be an archive that will help us understand and stay angry about harassment. For the time being, it would be great if participants posted on their blogs in anticipation, to spread the word. Spread the word in other ways, too.

BNP's target audience isn't really only the blogging community, but this will be a good step, whether effective or symbolic, towards interventions closer to the street.

Thanking you,

The Blank Noise Team

(Blogathon 2006 Series) author AK aka casement

2010-12-28T03:12:00.000-08:00

first posted for the Blank Noise Blogathon (2006)

I am sure many remember the case of Pratibha, an employee of HP who was raped and killed by a cab driver in December last year.

Although I do not know her personally, being an employee of HP ties me with her identity. I am given to think that if could happen to her, it could well, happen to any of us who are in her position, as vulnerable and as unsuspecting as she was.

It is definitely not the company’s fault. I know how much care goes into selecting a cab driver. The newly appointed cab drivers are watched for a period of a few months until the company is assured of his credibility. Is it right to blame the victim, right from her choice of shift to clothes? No. No one else is to be blamed other than the perpetrator of crime in such cases. But, enough has been spoken and heard about the cruelty of certain men who indulge in such brutal actions.

Instead of trying to indulge in fault finding, we can create a better world by finding solutions to the problems. The western world is aware of defense products like stun guns, pepper sprays etc., but we are totally incompatible with such ideas. A training in martial arts is not every woman’s cup of tea. So, that leaves us with just one weapon - COURAGE!

BBC report on Karate in Bangladesh

2010-12-24T23:33:00.001-08:00

BBC report on girls learning Karate in Bangladesh to protect themselves from 'eve-teasing'

A long time Action Hero

2010-12-24T22:53:00.000-08:00

Sexual abuse seems such a distant and obscure thought for most. Its simple because it could never happen to ME! Or it has never happened. That’s when you think that ‘sexual abuse’ only involves ‘SEX’ or something that is affecting you physically. That’s where we are wrong. Well, not we. But you , because I know it means more than just that.
So, you are thinking –what is sexual abuse according to me? Simply put- it’s any time that you have felt violated by some one else whether it is through a look, a word, a pat on the back or even a hand shake! If you felt violated- there is probably a reason. If women have the capability to make men crazy by just standing and waiting for a train, then we also have the capability of picking up creepy vibes like no other species!
I’ve gotten tired of complaining about the men who follow me and who are getting obscener by the day, tired of arguing that why should we change the way we dress to get less attention, tired of not being able to walk in my own neighbourhood without getting leched at,tired tired tired. I put my feelings in the back of my mind and have carried on with life. Yesterday something happened which made me want to write this today. And I’m not writing this for me because I feel so jaded. I am writing this for other girls who may not always see things the way they should. This is so they learn to protect themselves.
That is why I started with talking about sexual abuse. Most girls won’t realize it, but the sad fact is most have been abused in their life times and have stored it away in some part of their brain so they never have to try and understand that information.
Back to yesterday, an old friend getting married caught hold of me and proclaimed his undying love for me. On his WEDDING !! In front of my fiancé. He could’ve stopped there but in his drunkenness he caught hold of me and hugged me for five minutes and wouldn’t let go of my hand. I have known him for literally a hundred years. The utter crap that came out of his mouth was just about bearable even though he was claiming we would be friends for life bla blab la. What I couldn’t shake was the way he held my hand. I felt violated. Raped to be quite honest. And I only realized it when I walked away .I knew my fiancé was angry at the inability to do anything or say anything(because of the situation) ,but nothing compared to my anger and…. my fear. If we are so susceptible to people we know- out in the open, what goes on behind closed doors where no one can see you? I think I’m pretty tough yet I didn’t and couldn’t deal with the situation. I should’ve done something! Said something! But WHAT?! I was so not action hero material last night! I think this is my way of dealing with it- saying it out loud hoping I will help someone later on in some obscure way. I can’t believe I let that happen to me and it isn’t the first time with this person. Sometimes being cold hearted and arrogant is better , because that will probably protect you from the unknown. It also might make you a hard core cynic and hater but then you have to learn how to balance it.
Anyway, I just wanted to say this- don’t keep what you are feeling inside you, let it out- talk to someone- your feelings are not unjustified! If you feel violated- do something about it! And last of all, be weary. It’s sad but true that we must be in ‘protect mode’ all the time. Anything to keep yourself safe!

What was Your Action Hero Moment?

2010-12-18T03:15:00.000-08:00

How did you respond to being sexually intimidated/ assaulted/ 'eve-teased' on the streets?
Share your experience here . Your Action Hero moment will be published on this blog.

* there is no definition of the perfect Action Hero moment. You know it when you've been one!
An Action Hero does not surrender to power on the street.

Action Hero Anon

2010-12-14T08:57:00.000-08:00

i had just finished my exams..i was coming home in an auto in bangalore..near 4th t block..as i was getting down the auto driver groped at me..when i looked at him..i guess my face should have shown shock..he told me..and i will remember this for the rest of my life.."smooth,fine"...i got so angry..i have never been so angry..i lunged for his throat and hit him hard on the head..and on the chest..."what did i do",he asked..."what do you think?",i said and started hitting him again..he got to his senses and drove away..i shouted after him..i threatened to go to the police..i said i'd taken his details down...( in bangalore all the details of an auto driver are pasted at the back of his seat)..i hadnt really..i wanted to scare him...i saw him turn back..scared as a pussy cat in a cyclone..if he did get caught he could no longer drive an auto..his source of income..i shouted even louder.."i'll get you" i said.

it was around 12.30 in the afternoon..people in jayanagar usually are fast asleep at that time...i dont think anyone saw the incident..or heard my shouting..i just went home and i thought.

i know i should have told this to my mother..but why should she be bothered..she already has too much on her mind..

i thought about what had just happened..it still hurts sometimes..i thought of all the abuses that i could have hurled at him..i thought of all the smarter things i could have done..i could have for instance noted down his auto number..i could have asked him whether he didnt have any women at home..he probably abuses them too..sad

then i started thinking about our country...this is a normal thing to happen in our country..the reason that man tried to this was because he thought he would get away with it...he is not the problem..the problem is that this is accepted in our country..the problem is that he has probably been taught from when he was a child..that its okay to have fun at a girls expense..probably he has never learnt the concept that my body is mine..and that he has no right to touch it..probably..he has never learnt about personal space...i mean..i know a lot of auto drivers..and they are poor people who live in dingy shacks..its hard to learn even the basics of life in such circumstance...and most of india lives like this...the problem in our country is that we push sex under the carpet..we never talk about it..we never discuss it with our children.in our society..we just expect them to know...they wont just know...we need to teach them the concept of privacy..and the concept of respect

that is the larger problem in our society..and that isnt going to change over night...i didnt file a complaint..though god knows i should have...i didnt because that man probably has a wife and kids at home...and they depend on him to get food in their mouths..

and because that man isnt evil..hes just sick..and its an epidemic like none other..we need to stop it.

i know i'll never see him again..but if i did..i would not hit him again..i would just take him to a hospital.

maybe all this sounds like bull crap...maybe it doesn't..but i dont hate that man anymore..i hate what he did...but i hate the system..i hate the glorious culture that does these things to us

no..i didnt ask for it..i was dressed in blue jeans and khadi kurta..those that come up till your knees...i dont think i will wear those clothes again..but lets see...i had on my school bag..no makeup at all..and sport shoes..(if i had on slippers i would have thrown them at him no doubt)

i am writing this because i had to tell some one..i had to vent...i couldnt vent to anyone i know personally...they would probably as me to be a little more careful...which they have done before.

so i want to tell through this post..to all the mothers out there..who are reading this....teach your children the concept of personal space..the concept of respect..teach them before its too late..teach them before they become sick

Action Hero Anon felt anger..a lot of anger..i am still a little angry..but not at the person..only at the act

Time: 12 30 pm

Age at the time of experience: 17 years 10 months

Current age:17 years 11 months

Action Hero Sandhya Suresh

2010-12-14T08:47:00.000-08:00

When I was walking inside a crowded train, a middle-aged man tried to touch my body. But I did not allow him to do so and I did not give in. I was quick to act. I confronted him on the spot. I hit him hard on his back. I wanted to actually slap him but I couldn't. As I hit him so hard, he got so scared and he said, "Sorry sister". I gave a quick reply, "I cant forgive you and I'm not your sister. Behave decently". I actually wanted to insult him to the core but I couldn't say anything more and he ran away.

Time: 9 pm

Action Hero Sandhya felt: anger

Location : Bangalore City Railway Station.

Current age: 21

Age at the time of experience : 20

Action Hero Dianne Sharma Winter

2010-12-13T22:42:00.000-08:00

Delhi Metro at Sri Ramakrishna station, I have two bags of shopping and a high temperature,a flu or something. I am also annoyed like hell about the amount of Kashmiri men who will always firgang women in CP with smarmy lines delivered in fake american accents. So its not a great day for an eve teaser to pick me out in a crowd. Except there is not a crowd on platfrom, just a middle aged man and his wife who are walking towards me and heading for another exit.
A LOOK passes between them, complicit and sneakily subvercise. Did she just give him the nod to walk in a direct line towards my right breast? She is smirking as her husband deviates from his path and heads like a heat seeking missile towards my breast. I watch his wife almost disbelievingly. Hasnt she heard of the sisterhood? As the husband get closer, her smirk widens mockingly. I stare back at her in rage, as the husband gets into range of my body, I block him with my shopping bags and push him backwards,
MADAM! I shout in a loud voice. CONTROL YOUR HUSBAND! DO YOU HAVE NO SHAME?
Furious now I leave the station towards my hotel. On the corner is a gaggle of drunken rickshaw wallah. Again I see THE LOOK pass between them as I approach. I cant believe it, not twice in the space of a city block. Then I am in that white space of outrage. Before I can think there is the ugly alcohol fuelled unshaven face of the rickshaw wallah just inches from mine. From the depths of my memory a reverse karate punch that I had learned for my purple belt in karate jumps from the depths of history into my hands, I apply my fist to the side of his face and he goes down in a heap to gutter where he belongs.
I dont need a ref to count him out, its a knock out. My feet itches to kick him into the kurb but I don't. I offer a few swearwords in Hindi about his birth and his mother and trudge back to my hotel. Another day in the Eve Teasing Capital of India...Helhi Delhi

Time 3 pm
Action Hero Dianne felt : betrayed, rage, white heat, bored
Age at the time of experience: 50
Current age: 52

Action Hero Padma

2010-12-13T22:25:00.001-08:00

I am not someone who has ever resorted to the 'one tight slap' or would consider reacting violently ever. It's just not me but I surprised myself when I did what I did 2 months ago.
The pavement was spilling with people. I felt something on my butt as I walked ahead. Could it be some office goers bag? file? hand? I didn't turn around but paused for a second to forcefully jam my elbow backwards. It reached an uknown man's stomach who exclaimed " aah!"
I didn't turn back and continued walking. Didn't feel a hand on my backside that evening.
Wish I didnt have to walk so brave. But I do. Each time I walk the street I have to prepare myself mentally. #tiring. Walking should be relaxing. These days when I walk I try and follow the Step by Step Guide to Unapologetic Walking. I force myself to smile or hum a song so that I dont walk with fear.

Location: Chennai
Time 5 pm

What was your Action Hero moment?

2010-12-13T13:44:00.000-08:00

Action Hero Nandini

2010-12-13T13:31:00.000-08:00

On a Saturday morning, I was walking along a moderately busy street just off M. G. Road in Bangalore when I noticed a thin, sickly looking fellow barely taller than my five feet suddenly crossing the street to come towards me. I didn't have any time to register what was happening before the bastard bit my breast. Yeah. It was insane. I pushed him off and yelled WHAT THE FUCK at him. I was shaking and not entirely sure what on earth had just happened. The man reeked of cheap alcohol. He was trying to make a second grab at me, but I pushed him away again.

By this time, some passers-by had gathered around. A couple of them caught this man when he tried to run away and dragged him to the nearby police station, which happened to be just down the street. I followed. At the police station the officer on duty asked me if I wanted to file a report. By this time I was beginning to gather my senses a bit, so I said no - I just don't want anything more to do with this disgusting specimen of humanity except to make him apologise.

The police officer gave the man a kick. Dude falls at my feet, still stinking to high heaven, and spouts some bullshit about "I thought you were my mother." Jesus, if you come from that kind of family I guess there's no hope for you, huh, buddy.

So then I call my mom and tell her what happened, whose first question to me was: "What were you wearing?"

I'm very proud to report that I yelled at her, hung up, and did not speak to her for a week. I swear our so-called loved ones are worse than the actual "eve teasers": at least those lowlifes have some excuse to be the way they are and do the things they do - frustration with their lives, alcohol, insanity.... but what the hell are educated, supposedly smart and liberal people like my mother thinking when they try to blame US for what happened?

Time: 11 am
Location:Bangalore
Action Hero felt: anger, insult
Age:28
Age at the time of experience: 18

Action Hero Kathy

2010-12-13T13:23:00.000-08:00

I was groped from behind while walking on a busy street. I turned and clobbered him on the head with my closed umbrella--hard. Never saw him again!

Location: Marseilles, France
Time: afternoon
Action Hero Kathy felt : fear ,triumph ,anger.
current age: 57 years
age at the time of experience: 18 years

Action Hero Caroline

2010-12-13T13:20:00.000-08:00

This incident occurred when I was 19 and it took me 3years to muster the courage to share this incident. This is how disturbing a simple lewd act by a guy can be to the confidence of the victim.

It was a summer evening and I was walking down a busy road with my mother and younger sister. We had to walk partly on the road since the footpath was over crowded. I walked on the outer edge since I am protective of both my mother and sister and am also considered the tomboy of the family. We were walking to a family friends place which was barely half a kilometer away. All of a sudden I felt a hand creep up from behind and grope me inappropriately. I was stunned and for a few moments was unable to move. It turned out to be a cyclist who sped away. I was too embarrassed to run and felt tears stream down my face. With my mother and sister in attendance I felt even more weakened. We screamed a few obscenities after him but I believe it never bothered him. I was left bothered for a long time after that. This simple lewd act made me feel disgusted and ashamed.

time: 9 pm
Action Hero felt: Disgust, Anger, Humiliation, Shame

HOW TO BE AN ACTION HERO:

2010-06-26T15:31:00.000-07:00

Action Hero posters designed by super action hero Rhea Daniel

Rhea is not a new name to our email inbox or the BN blog. She's an artist based in Bombay believes she has participated in Blank Noise by 'annoying people in the comments section'.

"I guess I'd been subconsciously thinking about them and one day the ideas just popped into my head. It's dedicated to all the feisty women who aren't afraid of defending themselves, the action heroes I've learned from, basically. And they're mostly smiling in the posters, I hate the 'victim' look that they love putting out there."

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO BE AN ACTION HERO?

2010-06-26T15:26:00.000-07:00

CROSSPOSTED

existing definition: An Action Hero is a woman who faces threat and experiences fear on the streets of her city, but can devise unique ways to confront it. Her final response might have been to choose to ignore the violator, but she will have chosen to do so, not failed to notice it. AnAction Hero does not surrender to power on the street.

An Action Hero sets new rules for public behaviour.

An Action Hero can stand idle in public.

An Action Hero can whistle in a park, nap, read a book

An Action Hero can day dream in public.

An Action Hero can make eye contact with strangers.

An Action Hero can walk the streets without apology.

An Action Hero believes that the city is HERS.

An Action Hero does not take the age old blame for experiencing street sexual violence. She believes there's no such thing as 'asking for it'.

An Action Hero can sometimes twist the situation around and laugh at it.

An Action Hero is not a victim. She reacts. responds. fights back .

An Action Hero confronts her fear. analyzes it too.

An Action Hero choses to make her city safe by being out in public. She inspires new Action Heroes

An Action Hero is NOT afraid, shy, in denial nor embarrassed to say she experienced street sexual violence.

An Action Hero includes men in the dialogue about street sexual violence. An Action Hero believes that street sexual violence or 'eve-teasing' is an issue concerning male behaviour and attitudes.

- ?

Who is an Action Hero?

Pitch in by adding a definition, characteristic or trait

*HINT* could be your action hero moment- your strategy-

An Action Hero is _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ?

Join the action heroes event on facebook

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/event.php?eid=130518013647915&index=1

FIR ACTION HERO SMITA CHAKRABURTTY

2010-05-21T18:50:00.000-07:00

I am Smita....a year ago I underwent a similar situation...I was returning home alone from Jadavpur University around 9m in the night...that time the area is crowded with people...a good many number of labourers were working on the footpath as well...I was carrying my bag of books on one side and another handbag which had my tiffin box and water bottle... I was just about to cross Jadavpur thana crossing when an boy molested me...he was coming from the opposite direction he touched me and actually hurt me in the process..at first I was taken by surprise and went blank for a moment, then i turned around and saw him calmly walking away...I chased him and started yelling...the moment I started to chase him he ran as fast as he could way far away from me...luckily some of my university friends were also returning home they saw me running after this boy and chased him as well...my friends got him and we caught him right infront of the police station gate...I instantly wanted to file a case against him...but that was afterwards 1st I started hitting him as hard as I could going blind in rage...then I pulled him inside the police station and wrote down a complaint letter...this boy then started calling me madam/aunty/ma/didi (elder sister) and started begging to be forgiven I wouldn't listen to any of it...I kept on writing the complaint…then after some time the boys father, uncle, local friends came into the police station and wanted my forgiveness, by this time my friends also started saying that it would be pointless to file a case, that would only lead to my harassment...thus I calmed down...I took away the boys driving license, pan card, voter id...and made him write down an apology letter to me making him clearly state "that he is apologising for molesting me and that he will never repeat the act and if ever he is found guilty of doing so then legal actions will be taken against him" he gave in his id information details such as his pan card number, his driving license number, his voter id number...this was the moment for me...I will never forget the day in my life....but still i never walk down Jadavpur University by lane to Jadavpur thana I always take an auto on my way back home...

N.B: that day we found out that the guy worked for Calcutta police crime department he worked under Javed Shamim in Lal Bazar police station as a data entry operator

FIR ACTION HERO CORETTA CHRISTY

2010-05-21T17:52:00.000-07:00

It was a rainy season in August 2005.I was stationed at Siliguri, West Bengal as a Management Trainee in Sales, with a renown Financial Organisation. It was my first job after my post graduation studies.

That evening I had a sales call scheduled with the manager of an Indian retail company.

The meeting was at 8 pm.I left the office at around 7:30 pm, boarded a cycle-rickshaw (in siliguri, this was the mode of transportation) and I was on my way.

I noticed a man in a green scooter driving at snail-pace, along side my rickshaw.

Pretty strange, it was. I was not perturbed by it, until the man started talking to me.

At first, I thought he was addressing the rickshaw driver. But he was looking at me.

He was saying ‘ Tum kidhar se ho?’. I looked away. Ignoring him was the only strategy I thought of, at the time.

But he went on.

‘Kidhar jaa rahi ho?’

‘Mere saath mere bike par chalo’

‘Main tumhe chod doonga jahan tumhe jana hai’

Suddenly he shouted at the rickshaw driver ‘Rickshaw rok!’

Evidently nervous, the rickshaw driver stopped.

The man in the scooter stopped too. He stood up and starting pulling me from the rick.

For a second I froze. I didn’t know what was happening. I guess fear does that to you.

It was a dark lonely road & no soul in sight.

I screamed. Screamed, my lungs out.

That seemed to scare him because he suddenly took his hands off me, darted to his scooter and shot off. Trembling, terrified, in tears, I gathered myself and told the rickshaw to take me back to my apartment.

Alone in a strange city, I send a mobile sms to one of my colleagues informing her of what had happened. Immediately I got a call from my manager, demanding why I didn’t turn the rickshaw around and head back to office. He asked me if I had noted down the scooter’s number-plate; asked me to describe the man.

Fear turned to anger. Doesn’t he know that the first thought that comes to anyone in a vulnerable position is to ESCAPE, come what may? Doesn’t he know that the last thing in my mind was to check the number plate on that scooter?

Alone, I had a restless fearful night.

Next day, my manager asked me to head to the police station to file an FIR.

I did. I filed an FIR with the police station at Siliguri, West Bengal.

Back at office, I was the subject of discussion. Sympathetic stares, inquisitive eyes, pitiful smiles. My manager and his aides called me to the conference room to discuss the incident. Not being able to logically conclude why it happened and who the culprit is, my manager concluded that maybe I was mistaken (by the man in the scooter) to be one of the girls who comes down from the hills of Darjeeling to Siliguri at this time of the year looking for work. In short, he said I was mistaken for a prostitute (with all due respect to anyone of that profession) because of my looks. I am from Meghalaya, and my features are similar to the settlers of Darjeeling.

Stunned and enraged, I stormed out of the room.

I requested the HR head of the company to transfer me back to Pune, my initial place of posting. When he refused to do anything about it, I resigned.

The FIR must be lost or maybe its lying filed up at some police station, in Siliguri.

It’s forgotten. But the incident remains with me.

(By the way, my attire that evening was a kurta over a pair of jeans)

Action Hero Sangeeta Dutta

2010-05-04T06:28:00.000-07:00

2009 Feb

I was waiting outside my colony for an auto. It was a bright and  beautiful early spring morning. My Husband's First ever photo exhibition  was to open the next day. I was going to the Gallery to help him put up  the photos. I was in a hurry. Also I was in a good mood and bit in my  thoughts,  thinking expectantly for the big day of our lives.... 

I carried my big purse, my camera bag, on my two shoulders and a  bottle bag in my right hand filled with a 1 liter water bottle and  waited, shifting my weight carrying too many things. 

Suddenly I felt a hand lingering and pinching on the left upper  part of my body. Shocked out of my reverie I turned to my left and from  the corner of my eyes saw a hand, clad in a black shirt, go behind me  towards the right... His plan was to touch me on left from behind and  as I turn left he would just vanish into the crowd from my right. He  would have succeeded if he wasn't in a full sleeve shirt. Promptly I  turned to my right and saw a man in a black shirt walking away coolly. 

My mind exploded. I just ran and pulled him by his shoulders with  my left hand ( which was the only free hand)  and he turned around to  face me and I immediately thurst my bottle bag with my right hand right  under his chin. I think he instantly cut his tongue and he bent forward  slightly cause he wasn't expecting the blow. 

Then I boxed him on his nose and luckily he was a thin chap and he  fell down. That is when I beat him really bad, kicking and using my  bottle as a weapon. All this happened in broad daylight and there were  several people around me -- none of whom came to help me, -- instead  they kept asking "what happened, Kya hua"..... 

I had no time to think.. I couldn't leave my expensive camera and  the cash I was carrying in my bag. I clutched all my stuff and rained  blows on that sleaze ball.

By then the guy was lying on the road, bleeding profusely from his  mouth and nose and begging to be forgiven. Then I took a good look and realized he was one of the labourers working for the DELHI METRO project  across the road. 

Three thoughts raced through my mind

1) he could have an accomplice

2) he could pull my stuff and run , thus he could be a chain  snatcher or

3) he could have a knife, thus he could hurt me

4) It was a big, busy and important day in our lives and I couldn't  ruin it for my husband by calling him to the police station

SO I had to do what I had to do THEN, RIGHT THERE.... So I beat him  some more and suddenly seeing the fracas an auto slowed down. I just  heard the auto wala asking "kya hua madam" and I immediately ran into  the auto and said, "drive...."

Yes I ran.... cause if I waited to take him to the police.. and  from my past harrowing experience with police assured me that it would  have ruined my entire plans for the day.

The auto wala told me "aap to pura bhig gaye"... then I realised  that I was drenched as the water bottle must have burst.... I couldn't  talk... so he said, "thora pani pee lo, phir batao kahan jaana hai..  Police station chaloon?"

I took a look at the man... he was a young chap, he was peering at  the mirror over his head and talking to my reflection with a concerned  look. For a minute I wanted to burst out crying.... but then I told him  to keep going. He kept moving very slowly waiting for my  instructions.... after two minutes I calmed down and went to the  Gallery.

My husband was very disturbed by the incident, But I felt good that  I didn't leave that guy. We worked till midnight that day and finished  our project well....

I kept talking to my GOD, telling him, "yes it was an obstruction  to ruin our first ver exhibition... I am glad I handled it on my own"

But when I came back home that night I couldn't sleep for almost 2  weeks and had severe nightmares. The violence of the entire episode was  too much for me.. For over a month I didn't leave the house without my  husband. I was extremely scared that he might just be one of the workers  who knows where I live and might come back for revenge. 

Luckily nothing has happened, but I still don't like to go out and  stand for an auto at that place. 

BTW I was wearing a cargo pants and a full sleve t-shirt, no  jewellery and some sindoor. 

FIR ACTION HERO #1

2010-04-24T20:23:00.001-07:00

This is an account of being asked to NOT file an FIR and it goes back 4-5 years ago.

It had been months of repeated phone calls, text messages, all seeking 'friendship'. Calls and texts came in at all times of the day and night. I had done everything from trying to talk to them, shout, yell, threaten. Nothing worked, typical. My guess is, a group of guys were using one number. The text messages weren't perverse or sexually toned, but the frequency, despite a clear no, did make the experience threatening. It was obvious that the guys thought this was a 'fun' thing to do.

I thought of blocking the number, but that meant I would have to file an FIR first and give it to my phone service provider. Blocking the number didn't make sense; block one and then say hello to another phone stalker?!

A couple of weeks passed and the phone rang through the night, texts poured in, still pursuing friendship. A female friend, kannada speaking accompanied me to the police station. We asked for a woman constable and spoke only to her.

" I want to file an FIR"

" Why do you want to file an FIR?"

She pointed at the stack of files and said "your case will be lost in these files".

She re-dialled the numbers from my phone and said " Im calling from the police station. You have been repeatedly calling this number. I am coming to your house now and will tell your parents about your actions. hum tumhara mummy daddy ko boleygi"

I thought the police officer was crazy. It could have been ME pretending to be a police officer. Why do I have to go to a police station to have a voice saying it's the police officer , to threaten the boys, not with being 'arrested' or an 'FIR' but with informing parents?! Later I thought the police officer was cool, street smart. Yet I do cringe when I recall the cop dissuading me from filing the FIR.

20 minutes later an sms apology followed. It was my Action Hero moment.

1 hour later the boys called again, this time it was an attempt to threaten me for taking matters to the police station. That was their last call.

Location: Bangalore

ACTION HERO FIR

2010-04-24T00:12:00.000-07:00

Have you ever reported some one for street sexual violence to the cops?Did you file an F.I.R? What followed?
Please email your experience to blurtblanknoise at gmail com subject titled ACTION HERO FIR
We are documenting and will be sharing your stories from April 25- May 25 here:
Should you wish to keep your identity confidential, you could submit your story via this form instead.
Do speak to those around you, with or without internet access and contribute as a story collector, a BN agent. Lastly, do spread the word by sharing this post!
For info on how to file an FIR, look this up.

Action Hero Lina Sunish

2010-03-07T09:28:00.000-08:00

I must have been 17, and was traveling to college in a partially empty 'pushpak' bus in Bangalore. I was wearing one of my favourite shirts, a brown corduroy full sleeved shirt with jeans. I was sitting by the window and day dreaming, when somewhere along the way I realised a hand was creeping up in the gap between the bus wall and the seat, and trying to touch the part of my body closest, which was my breast. I felt an instant of shock, and then caught hold of the fingers, and screamed loudly. People in the seat across the aisle stared while the hand quickly disappeared. My anger had reached a boiling point - how DARE anyone touch me, i thought out loud. Then I took my backpack (which was another of my favourites, a dark green neat little suede bag) which was full of two heavy books, and my clay modelling and printmaking tools, nice and hard; I threw the entire bag on the man's head - it was then that I saw his face. It seemed decent enough, and he seemed shocked at getting such a reaction. It looked like he was used to doing what he was doing, groping women on buses. the conducter came up and tried to sort out the issue. By then I was screaming abuses at the man in English, and what little kannada I knew. I dont remember if he got off the bus, or stayed on it. I dont even remember if I stayed on the bus till I reached my destination. What I do remember is that I felt proud of myself, it was the third time I was experiencing something similar, but the first time I had reacted strongly. i knew i could take care of myself.

age at the time of experience: 17

current age: 32

time: 11 am approx

location: A bus in Kammanahalli, Bangalore,

what did you feel? anger

Action Hero Anon

2010-03-07T09:21:00.000-08:00

Once i was walking around with a friend and two rowdy men on a bike honked as they passed us and glared. i turned around and hurled abuses out real loud and they just sped up and went away.

What did you feel?

First it was anger and then just satisfaction

Age: 18

Location: delh

ACTION HERO PRITHI NARAYAN

2010-03-07T09:13:00.000-08:00

This was 2 days back. was travelling in a bus to Bangalore. the guy behind me chose to rest his feet on my seats' arm rest. i dint realise it as i was sleeping. he dint stop with that, he kept rubbing his feet up and down my arm and i woke up.warned him once. he started all over again when i dozed off. opened my eyes, saw his feet, lifted my hand and rammed my elbow into his feet. his cry was loud enough to wake up half the bus. #ineveraskforit

age 23

man in the park

2010-02-09T08:36:00.000-08:00

Man in park : "excuse me, you are looking very pretty"

It took me more than a second to respond. I did not react. I just said a loud confident 'thank you'
and he left!

My action hero moment was in the fact that I didn't let a male stranger threaten me just because he is male. Something in me has changed. 10 years ago I would have treated him with suspicion or worried myself over his intentions.

HOW DID YOU SAY NO?

2010-01-10T10:58:00.000-08:00

What was your Action Hero moment?
How did you respond to being sexually intimidated on the streets?
Share your experience here . Your Action Hero moment will be published on this blog.

Action Hero Meenakshi

2010-01-04T03:33:00.000-08:00

TALK TO ME

It was a nice winter afternoon and I was walking.

It didn't take more than a few seconds of walking and I saw a pair of eyes walking towards my breasts. I could feel his eyes on my anatomy from a distance and I chose not to fold my arms or bend my back.

I am sick of men talking to my breasts.

I continued to stare at his face while he walked towards me, his eyes consuming me. I felt sick and angry.

We passed each other and in that very split of a second I screamed- CAN YOU NOT LOOK AT MY FACE INSTEAD? BLOODY ASSHOLE!?!

He had a look of shock and had disappeared from sight before I knew it. Thank God I do not remember his face.

10 minutes later, it happened again. and then again. Another time I responded with a " kya hai?!"- what is it?!! (wtf?!)

These were young men, old men, rich men, not so rich men, the so called educated men, the so called uneducated men.

I love walking but I hate that the experience of walking is accompanied with stares; stares that don't focus on the face but at breasts. I don't like that it makes me aggressive. It is important to react.

Some women block it out and ignore. A grand aunt has been teaching her 10 year old grand daughter to never express anger in public. I suppose it makes her more 'lady like'.

I am interested in figuring out strategies that are non violent, based on wit rather than anger, that don't make me defensive or 'victim' but instead empower me...but sometimes I am left wondering whether it is really wrong to resort to the 'one -tight-slap' phenomenon. I haven't ever slapped a man- not because I've held my hand back- but because it isn't natural to me to raise my hand. I never raised it and pulled it back...it's just something I think I would never do.

Over the years I have responded with my eyes, my words, by taking photos and most importantly with an attitude that says 'im not afraid of you. i don't want to be afraid of you. i belong here.this is my territory.'

I don't ignore it, but I understand that some need to do it to carry on with their day to day life. And yet if we ignore instead of saying a big NO , how do we propose to address it?
One of the ways is that each of us REACT in our own action hero moments...this cannot be ignored.

I know its more calming to devise ways to not be on the street
and it is calming to block things out
but hey- I do want to be able to take a walk. and I will.

Be an Action Hero. Tell us how you responded to street sexual harassment/ 'eve teasing'/ street sexual bullying/ intimidation/ aggression/ violation/

2009-11-02T10:31:00.000-08:00

share your experience here. be an action hero.
email us at blurtblanknoise at gmail dot com subject titled 'action hero'

Blank Noise Action Hero Nainy Sahani

2009-10-27T04:12:00.000-07:00

Physical Strength, Indomitable Spirit and Things in Between

I wasn’t as new in Bombay as I would like to claim. I’d been living in the wonderful city of crows and pigeons for almost eight months. To say I loved Bombay would be a gross understatement. I would give anything to be there. The sheer hope in its insanely sweaty weather is irresistible to a dreamer like me. I was a regular in the local trains and took quite a pride in the expertise I had donned in such less time. That was about Bombay.

To tell you about me, I’m a person who overflows with Pride. Not in an arrogant way, but in an optimistic visible way. I’m tiny by my age and experience standards but my face comes glued with the confidence and enthusiasm of Alexander (before he came to India).

And it makes me mad even today, that even I couldn’t stand up for myself.

I was waiting at the Bandra station on a Sunday. I don’t have to tell you what a colossal disorganization that is. But I waited, with my shopping bags in both hands. Patiently for the train to arrive to take me to Grant Road. I stood in front of the expected spot for the ladies compartment. But something went wrong, and instead of the ladies compartment, there was mens’. Shit, I didn’t expect this, that has never happened, wait, what do I do now? With an under standard BMI and a height when I feel the common Indian folk is always a foot taller, I got swept in the crowd. I had no say in it. I was just swept, just like that. And there I was, inside the guys compartment, which was full and felt like a moving gas chamber. I couldn’t find any place to stand, but somehow, the people around me wont let me move in any direction what so ever. So I kept standing.

This guy, I still remember wearing a black pathaani, looked at me. I could feel his eyes. Made me even more uncomfortable then I already was.

I was standing in the middle of the compartment, holding nothing as my hands were full. And he started moving alongside me. Right when he was behind me, I felt him pushing against me. It weren’t hands. And tears started rolling down my eyes. My eyes weren’t just wet, I was crying. Silently, like a coward. I couldn’t bring myself to speak up, to scream, to do anything really. I just stared, and cried.

There was a burqua clad woman right beside me. She saw what was happening and when I didn’t protest for another three minutes. She lifted her veil, and held my hand. Then she spoke very loudly, “Koni utha aur de zor ka” ( take your elbow and hit as hard as you can). I still didn’t move and cried even more. Then she turned around and pushed this guy fiercely and yelled, “Dur hat us se!” (stay away from her).

The guy didn’t dare come close to me then, since so many people saw what she did. And he got off at Dadar.

Then when there was some breathing space, she made me sit and said, “chup rahegi toh log le lenge! Apne liye kab ladegi”. (If you’re going to be quiet people will take from you what they want, when will you fight for yourself?)

She was a small girl too, an unmarried, burqua clad woman and from her tone I could tell not much on the educated side either. She saved me.

It was hours after that I stopped crying, but I still never forgot the guy neither this woman. The Real hero. Not the talker, not the blogger, but the doer.

BN ACTION HERO TANVEE NABAR: STREET TALES OF LOVE , LUST AND POSSIBLE MISINTERPRETATIONS

2009-08-26T08:32:00.000-07:00

I do not have anything specific, but the thought of walking up to a guy i think is attractive has always riddled me. Often while on a train or on holiday for instance, I have come across a boy I would love to talk to. However starting a random conversation has always been hard for me. Specific to this however is the fact that often, randomly talking to a member of the opposite sex, is considered 'slutty' or 'too forward', i.e its not okay.

Adding onto these experiences, are the ones from the 'smiling' excercise. I found that as a result of this smiling, of whichever kind there were more than a few curious glances bestowed on me. Infact many men even came forward and asked incessent questions like 'where you from?' and on not recieving an answer 'America?' Many followed me around but from a good distance. I found this not in the least obtrisuve. Although they did follow me, some for quite a while, i was not made to feel uncomfortable or violated.

The one man that did freak me out, was a man who came too close. He stood blocking my path as well as follwed me around. His pick up line was 'Im very happy to see you' while grooming his hair and unconciously engaging in crotch-display (diffrent from flashing).

Tanvee is a student at Srishti School of Art Design and Technology. Tanvee wrote this while doing a workshop with Blank Noise.

BN ACTION HERO POOJA: STREET TALES OF LOVE LUST AND POSSIBLE MISINTERPRETATIONS

2009-08-25T12:25:00.000-07:00

We are often told by our parents not to talk to strangers when we are
quite young and this continues to a large extent as we grow up also.
More often, as of today I tend to ignore any stranger trying to make
conversation on the street on an impulse by either simply looking away
or walking away. For, instance this one time my friend and I were
taking a evening walk and two guys on biked started to block our way
and we just ignored them for a bit, increased our pace and tried to
make them lose track. In this case they seemed to have been from the
same socio-economic background as we were but just the way the
approached us did not seem right in terms what their intention could
have been. It did not give off a very healthy vibe which might have
started a conversation. It was not scary because of the location we
were in (streets by home).

There is also the question of wanting to approach a stranger, but
usually I feel I cannot do that because of the same reason I am not
readily willing to talk to anyone who approaches me. So I can question
myself, why would they talk to me and how would they know what my
intentions are ? They can always ignore us too. So I would usually end
up telling someone with me, "look" there is a guy we could talk to and
it remains that way. It is sad that we cannot approach anyone we want
to only because we never know when it could be unsafe. And most likely
the definition of safe and unsafe differs from person to person.

The person who is approaching I think usually has the upper hand in a
conversation.
For instance, if I were to approach someone i am sure of what I want
to say and hence not too uncomfortable for me. At the same time if a
stranger approached me, I would react in a questioning sense and I
would only be okay to have a conversation depending on what he wants
to communicate about as I would never be able to trust a person until
I know his reason for approaching me. I guess it also depends upon the
background of the stranger and the way he or she approaches.

Pooja is a student at Srishti School of Art Design and Technology. Pooja wrote this while doing a workshop with Blank Noise.

BN ACTION HERO NEHA: street tales of love lust and possible misinterpretations

2009-08-25T03:01:00.000-07:00

The Biking Shorts

I believe in lust at first sight.

I believe lust is an organic feeling and we, as a society have conditioned it to be swept under the carpet or restricted to socially acceptable boundaries of marriage and the like.

Even though I believe in what someone would call a ‘radical’ notion, a random stranger on the street attempting to befriend me would evoke anger, fear or distrust in me.

I often question myself as to why a ‘cute boy’ in school, college or in a mall wouldn’t be as ‘creepy’ to me as a good looking young man at the railway station.

Cycle rides around a residential neighborhood in the suburbs of Delhi are generally considered safe for a young adolescent girl. I was 13 and tomboyish. Riding a men’s cycle in my ‘biking shorts’ when the rest of the girls were bedecked in lace and straps, was to me,quite cool. Like any young adult, my body was still taking form which was evident in the way I rode my bike and wore my shorts. My supple, white limbs were quite visible.

The bakery guy. I used to cycle to a nearby bakery for milk, bread and ‘chai-biscoot every Sunday’. He came in once or twice a month and I presume was some relation of the bakery owner. Around eighteen, shy, good looking and light-eyed, he used to make my heart beat faster at the glances he used to give me. Which, in retrospect I can say was often.

My mother had taught me not to talk to strangers.

I have come a long way since I followed that rule, but at 13, I was just about breaking it. I was scared.

What do I say? Should I call him bhaiyaa? I knew I wasn’t a gorgeous teenager. I wasn’t familiar with strutting my girlhood all over the place, but I knew I could match up to any of the‘didis’who visited him.

It was a dark evening and I was returning home from a friend’s place on my cycle, when I see cute-bakery-bhaiyya walking alone. At that point, I wasn’t familiar with the idea of fearing-the-dark and to me, it was just time to get home for a hot meal.

I slow down and looked towards him in anticipation of something.

A conversation? A smile? I don’t know what. But I wanted some acknowledgement. I saw him eyeing me.

He smiled and said ‘Arey!’ I had passed him. I turned back and stopped. He approached me. There was something in the way that he looked me up from my toes to my exposed thighs in the biking shorts that made me think of a typical Bollywood villain. I like him, I thought. Why am I scared?

“Aaap ko pata hain ….. aha hain?” He sounded like he had stuffed a mouthful of paan in his throat. I couldn’t understand what he said, but I heard the words ‘kahaan’ or ‘where’ and ‘tuition’. He is trying to make conversation with me, I thought. The excited little infatuated thing that I was, I smiled ear to ear, eager to please, pointing at a building and saying “ Wahaan hain.” Or “It is that side”. I thought he was asking where the children’s tuition centre was.

“Meri behen bhi karvaati hain” or “ My sister gets it done too”, he replied, again, looking at my shorts, “ Aap bhi karvaiyein. Mazaa ayaega” or “You get it done too. You will enjoy it”.

“Huh?” What was he saying? By now I knew that all was not right, but I didn’t know what. Did he want to know a tuition place or not? Was he making friends with me or not? I just didn’t get it.

“ Choosvaeeyein, choosvaeeyein, na”; “ get it sucked, get it sucked”, he kept saying.

Then it hit me. All those words I had heard from the rowdy type guys in my class came to me. The laughter. Then, the fear.

I was so confused. In my naivety, I didn’t know what was the right way to escape. Had I heard him wrong? I looked at him blankly and uttered a meek , “ Sorry, very sorry”, got onto my bike and cycled away.

Never after that has my attraction to a stranger been as organic and free flowing as my first. I have been jaded with a bad experience. But I have learnt not to take that as a judgment point. Not to look at any stranger through that and that lens only.

I have heard many stories of random strangers becoming boyfriends and husbands.

I still get attracted to strangers. But I really do nothing about it.

Tanvee is a student at Srishti School of Art Design and Technology. Tanvee wrote this while doing a workshop with Blank Noise. More here

BN Action Hero Prerna towards 'street tales of love lust and possible misinterpretations'

2009-08-24T22:48:00.000-07:00

The little red riding hood was the first lesson that I learnt about the public- beware of strangers! The word stranger to me means unknown or “strange being” one I don’t understand because of lack of interaction. Whenever I think of a stranger a picture of a man comes before me. With a stranger there is a very strong fear of not being able to predict their reactions or understand their way of perception, it is even more for a man. In fact in contradiction to the previous statement there is a pre-conceived notion about men and their reactions and that is what makes me vary of interacting with them. Approaching a woman is easier, not that I can predict her reactions but I feel a sense of safety, I know that she isn’t going to touch me or make me feel uncomfortable in that way. I guess this has to do with a deeply ingrained conditioning.

I think I have felt attracted to a stranger before but other than discussing him amongst my friends I haven’t had the guts to go up and talk to him even if all I want to do is ask a question because there is a lot of scope for misinterpretation of words. Just recently my friends and i were travelling in a bus and happened to find a "cute" boy in the backseat of the bus just next to ours. it is a different story that the bus moved before we could do anything but one thing is for sure all i could do is maybe stare at him to draw attention and smile at him only to make my presence known. however being amongst over enthusiastic friends we might have gone overboard with tactics to draw attention to ourselves like talk loudly, giggle, smile witha flirtatios edge to it but one thing is for sure i was aware of the fact that the boy seemed our age and from a similar socio-economic class moreover there was a sense of safety being in a separate bus.

if i do find a stranger attractive all i would do is smile and giggle to myself. discuss him amongst my friends, blush if they tease try and draw too much attention to me. if i am alone i would just tell myself look at him a second glass at the max and then go on my way. strangely such attractions do not linger on in my head for long so there is no desperate urge to start a conversation or establish interaction. more often than not i am highly confined to myself drawing a rigid boundary around myself for the fear of my actions or moves towards those men drawing unwanted attention towards myself.

However there is a difference among strangers and their surroundings. Somehow I would feel more comfortable approaching a stranger (whether man or woman) if they are from a similar socio-economic background, even if it were going up and talking to them for the simple reason-attraction. In fact I find it easier to be approached by and talked to by a stranger of the same socio-economic class since there is this feeling that there is less ambiguity of words and a hope for a better understanding.

smiling- something as simple as that can attract a lot of attention. there is this whole notion of the good girl smile and bad girl smile as told to us by a bus conductor and articulated and expressed most vividly by most tv serials and movies. today, 24th august 2009 i sat in barista, on a mission to spread a smile across my face and direct it to the public. a man dressed in a blue and white striped shirt with white cuffs came and sat down at the table diagnal to me with a friend. as i had been doing the whole day my face broke into the warmest smile i could give him and established eye contact with him. there on began a most subtle flirtation. everytime i looked up from my books i saw him staring at my, lips apart forming a highly toothy smile with some strange lip movements that pushed the smile towards letchiness. this exchange of smiles became more frequent and i was aware that my smile was becomming more of the "lets have fun and flirt" kinds. he soon broke into song about love, took out his cell phone to show off perhaps? tapping and bobbing my head to the music and a wide gummy smile on my face i directed my gaze and the smile at him occasionally. clearly he seemed to be enjoying the attention. when i was leaving i took a step forward and blew him a kiss. something i normally would never have done but peers and a whole day of establishing intangible interactions with strangers gave me the courage to do so. i had pushed my boundary on the street flirting front but in the name of fun. i somehow regret that because i now feel that it is a little unethical (clearly according to my moral code) to play around with someone like that. somehow when i met this man outside i felt a sense of fear just thinking about what if he knows it was a game?

another instance of public flirting happened when i was in the 8th. i was sitting with a whole bunch of girl friends at cafe coffee day in calcutta. right next to our table in this cramped branch of ccd was another table with 2 girls and a boy sitting there sipping at their cold coffee. they seemed about 16-17 yrs of age and from a similar socio economic strata of society. this one girl taps me on the shoulder and says that the boy sitting next to her liked me and wants to know my name. i flipped. i froze. in fact that was the first time that had ever happened to me. i thought he was some flirt sitting with 2 girls flirting with a third. fortunately or unfortunately we were finishing up and paying the bill. once we left i found myself being trailed by this boy and his 2 girls. that scared me even more, that is when i ran towards one of my school teachers who just happened to be at the same mall. this act diverted him and he no longer trailed me. today sitting 6 years from that incident i feel like i would have done things so differently. in fact i would have told him my name and even exchanged a few words with him. my boundaries have changed so much since that day. i have learnt to be little less suspicious or rather i have learnt to be more confident about an interaction with a stranger. looking beyond a stranger as a "strange unpredictable being".

Prerna is a student at Srishti School of Art Design and Technology. Prerna wrote this while doing a workshop with Blank Noise.

More here

BN Action Hero Tanvee for 'street tales of love, lust and possible misinterpretations;

2009-08-24T22:47:00.001-07:00

Like the time i was in a train on my way to the Srishti interview. I saw a bunch of guys who i knew for a fact were a local bombay band called 'paper clip airplane' and who were my age. Unfortunately i did not have the guts to actually talk to them, although i had been for one of their gigs. Expressing attraction, however basic and innocent, is tricky and can make you vulnerable to being misunderstood, hence i steer clear of it entirely.

2009-07-31T14:52:00.001-07:00

An incident of alleged molestation in Assam's Halflong town would have passed unnoticed, but for a girl who decided to take on an entire group of army personnel.

More here:
http://www.ndtv.com/news/india/assams_joan_of_arc_girl_beats_army_jawan.php

Blank Noise Action Hero Shreyasi Kar

2009-07-26T10:52:00.001-07:00

Being stalked is not fun. Even when you know that it is not dangerous and harmless. Or maybe it seems like stalking only to me. For many others, including my “stalker”, its trying to woo or flirt. Maybe even being caring and protective. No wonder the whole school was surprised as to why I wasn’t madly in love with my stalker as yet. That was Jabalpur for me. A small town trying to get big. I was the newcomer there in 11th and everyone wondered which guy’s ‘girl’ I would become. Ofcourse it didn’t matter whether I even remotely liked the guy or not. Having come from Nagpur, (which by no means was a big bad city) Jabalpur, and then studying in K.V. felt like a culture shock of sorts. Suddenly talking to the guys of the class without any mission to be accomplished was too forward and reflected badly on your character. Openly going out with someone (NOT the stalker) was a matter that the principle brought up while talking about participating in a science fest, no wonder all my dates used to be at 10 am when for sure no one would see us together.  I hated the town and its culture for all of this. But after a point you stop being the rebel outsider and just fit in somewhere at the extreme end of the crazy culture, and actually start taking notice of the zillion subtle things happening. 
 
In any small town, your two-wheeler is your true BFF. And yes a major chunk of your social life and activities revolve around it. At one o’clock when the senior school gets over, you’ll see girls and boys spilling out of schools and line up along the road in groups. This is the 5 minutes that they’ll be getting for any sort of interaction. Looking straight at the guy you like/are going out with is not what good cultured girls do, therefore shy and coy glances are exchanged between the two parties by looking into the tiny rear-view mirror. Notes are exchanged in the form of ‘stray’ crumpled balls of paper that was obviously meant to hit a friend but hit the love interest ‘by mistake’. And if the note is read and not just left lying there or not torn up after reading, it means that the girl is yours. Immediately she is his girl and he is her protector. He’ll ‘drop’ her from home to school. From school to home. From home to the zillion coaching centres. From the zillion coaching centres to home. Day after day. And during all this smiles are exchanged through rear-view mirrors. Conversations happen only at traffic signals. If they are lucky, cellphone nos. will be exchanged. In order to not forget the no. both will be chanting it till they get home, and by this time they know the no. so well that there is no need to write it down any more. And then its love! 
 
What happens when the girl ignores the crumpled ball of paper, or tears it up? She is still ‘his girl’ and the most important mission is to ‘win’ her. He still becomes her ‘protector’ (read stalker) follows her around and ensures that no one else dares to play catch with crumpled balls of paper around her.  Orkut, email, and social networking makes stalking a little bit easier. And oh so sweet forwards spam her mail box and scrapbook. I always felt that the funda behind doing all this was ‘hate me or love me you can’t ignore me, (and soon enough you’ll love me)’ [ someone had actually written this – “sorry for without permission - entering your profile but if i say hi.......u may say whoz this.... if i ask for chat....u may say why??.... if i say i liked ur profile......u may say im flattering…” ] 
 
And what happens when you read and don’t tear up someone else’s letter? Hell breaks loose. Fist fights, punctured tires, suddenly empty fuel tanks, strange fake orkut id’s, etc is what you will be subjecting your new lover boy to! Not to forget a fresh torrent of lovey dovey forwards in your mail and very serious warnings about the honesty and integrity of the new lover boy in your life [someone had actually sent me a cell phone snap of my new lover boy talking to some other girl!] and all you can do is hope that this testosterone fuelled obsession dies out soon enough. If you are lucky, it dies out within 2-3 months of the entry of new lover boy. If your not, you may still be getting mails like – ‘thanks for accepting my rqest ...dear !
or kaise ho.....? pics to bohut saari hai par kuch hi dekh paya hu....u are really enjoying thr....may i know ur usual loggin tym......take care !’ 
 
Even after 2 years of having left school, moved to a different city, and graduating to facebook from orkut J

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO MALAY

2009-07-12T06:08:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if I am an action hero. I suppose by not denying myself the street or by not running away from what might have happened I could be an action hero. it required courage. it required reflection. it required the attitude that I belong here.

nothing 'happened' in terms of a tangible sense of experience.

I was walking in my neighbourhood with music plugged in my ears, keys and mobile in hand. It is a lovely evening. It is nice and breezy. I found myself looking up at the trees and the movement of the leaves. It was beautiful. I walked past the park to find a bunch of boys looking up at me. I said to myself, maybe they think I am attractive...I should not fear them...they are just curious. forced myself to take it as a compliment and walked ahead.

I saw camels! They were there...just hanging out eating leaves from the trees of a fenced park.
A black car passed by. I noticed the man in the car looking at me. It continued from the rear view mirror. I think looking at someone consistently is rude.

This morning I noticed a young man looking at me while I was buying groceries. He wasnt conscious of it. When I looked up and 'caught' him looking at me , he looked away...awkward. I took that as a compliment because he didn't assert his power on me through his gaze. There was a sense of ' im sorry' when he looked away...and I appreciated that. The guy in the car instead was assertive, aggressive and persistent and sometimes there is nothing more putting off than that.

I noticed a man on a bike looking at me. I did not react. He was simply riding past ofcourse.
A few minutes later I noticed him again. I wasnt walking in one stretch but being snake like through the neighbourhood. A few minutes later he re appeared. By now I was a bit suspicious but did not want to jump the gun. I said to myself " maybe he is a broker and is looking out for an address" or something to convince myself that I was safe. I continued walking and he rode past again. This time the timing was shorter. I was determined not to run back home...because that's what we do don't we? We run back to where it is safe and we deny ourselves the streets, the parks, the trees because of some random stalker, starer, comment passer, who is just there to do a little bit of 'sight seeing' every sunday evening. When he rode past again I made it obvious but casually that I was noting his number on my phone. He did not ride past me again.

What could have happened though? who is this man? why why why was he doing that? I just want to be able to walk . I just want to be able to day dream while walking.

INDULEKHA ARAVIND

2009-07-11T09:49:00.001-07:00

I have been harassed countless times…on my way to school/college/work, on the bus, in the train, while shopping, with friends, alone…. Like every other woman.
Today’s incident, however, disgusted and angered me more than usual because one of the perpetrators looked like he was just 12 or 13. 
 
I was walking to the bus stop and was on the phone when two guys on a bike—one who looked like he was in his 20s and the other, the adolescent—slowed down…the elder one leered and asked ‘What’s your name?’ while the kid grinned, clearly enjoying himself. I abused them loudly in English and in Hindi but that didn’t stop either of them from grinning. They stopped a little ahead of me and kept looking back at me so I marched up to them and asked them what the fuck they thought they were doing. They then took off, not very fast, and the elder one, clearly trying to bluster it out, asked loudly what my problem was/what was wrong in Hindi. I was standing on an elevated part of the road—they passed by a third time, through the lane next to the main road and the elder guy had his middle finger high in the air and said “Take this.” I leaned over the boundary wall separating the lane and the main road and told him to go fuck his mother (inappropriate? couldnt think of anything else). 
The kid was still grinning.
 
They didn’t come back a fourth time, though I had my pepper spray in my hand, ready to spray if he so much as reached out. And in retrospect, I know I should have tried to get his licence plate number, so that I could have lodged a complaint. I’m a journalist with one of the biggest media houses so I am quite sure the police would have taken action. The way they were dressed, I think they live in the same neighbourhood and I’m hoping that I will be able to report them the next time. I keep thinking of the kid though…what kind of a monster will he grow up into, with someone clearly giving him lessons in eve-teasing. I’m still furious (a little with myself for not having taken down the number). 
Do you think I could have done anything else differently? I am not very strong, physically. 

Blank Noise Action Hero INDIAN HOME-MAKER

2009-07-02T00:40:00.000-07:00

first published here

We were traveling by train (second class) to Punjab on a hot May night in 1998. It was a last minute booking and we were separated, the kids and I got lower berths in one compartment, and Husband had to sleep in another compartment.

I had settled the kids and was almost asleep when I realized a hefty looking man had sat down on my berth near my legs. I asked him to get up, he said he was going to go away in a while, but I insisted he goes right then. He left unwillingly.

He appeared again, took a look at the people sleeping there, and left. I noticed there were the kids and I on the lower berths, and one woman diagonally opposite me, she had her son with her on the same berth. There was no one on the berth above mine. I continued trying to sleep.

I was worried but finally must have dosed off to wake up again to find this fellow spreading a sheet in the space between my berth and my kids berth. If he slept there, I would not have been able to get up without stepping on him! I stood up and told him he couldn’t spread his sheet there. He said his friend had the berth above mine, it was fine, and he was going to sleep there. I said he couldn’t but he continued. I told him I would be getting up many times to check my kids and he couldn’t sleep there. By now I was standing up and arguing very loudly. He reluctantly left again.

I couldn’t sleep because I was worried he might come back. The thought that the man above was his friend also troubled me.

I woke up again to find four pairs of legs on the berth above. Two were dangling, and two were rested on the berth where the woman was sleeping with her son. They were pinching her back with their toes. She squirmed and turned away, and then again turned back.

There was silence except for train noises, everybody else was asleep. This was a terrifying nightmare. They couldn’t see me right below them, I pretended to be asleep. I was hoping she would pick her son and put him between herself and them. She didn’t. She simply pushed herself away from them, but how far could she move? Her son was asleep behind her anyway, so there wasn’t even that much room. Then she turned her back towards them. One of the feet reached closer and plucked at her kurta with toes. Why doesn’t she make some noise? Everybody was asleep. And these were four tall and strong looking men. I realised that that woman could have been me. Maybe that was why he first tried to sit on my berth, and then tried to sleep right next to my berth. They had noticed there were two women and three children in this compartment. This was bad. They could throw the kids out of the moving train. I decided to pretend to be asleep. And then she made a little uncomfortable noise, one of the toes, I saw, had plucked at her bra strap under her kurta.

Next moment I was standing and yelling. “You think nobody is watching you? I am not asleep, I have been watching your acts all evening, first you tried to sit here then you tried to sleep here!! Is there any space to sleep here? And now four of you sitting there imagining everybody is asleep! You are harassing her, but I have been watching you and I was thinking you will stop on your own but this is simply too much, I had realized you were up to no good when you were walking past here all evening, I suspected you…”

I have no idea how this would have ended but Husband in another compartment heard me yelling along with perhaps half the train. Husband asked them their CO’s (Commanding Officer) name and told them (a lie) that he was Colonel so and so. They were army or BSF jawans, they apologized and were sent away to some other compartment.

What made me blog about this now after all these years?

The fact that I was wearing jeans and the woman was wearing a peach salwar kurta with dupatta.

All criminals look for easy prey. No matter how hard we try, no matter what we wear, we cannot become invisible, although I am still horrified at my yelling, because they really could have turned violent, they could have been armed or they could have pushed my husband out of the train, but I do realize that the reason why I was spared the harassment was that I was not an easy prey. Nobody wants trouble, specially criminals.

Blank Noise Action Hero Zoya. ( action hero story agent- Rachna from Vizag)

2009-06-28T08:57:00.001-07:00

I was such a shy person. Maybe it was the rigid Muslim upbringing in my grandmother’s house or my natural bashfulness, but I could never converse properly with any boy. Even if he was someone I knew all my life like a cousin or a family friend. Everything was so awkward all through adolescence. This was around the time I started living with my parents in Vizag.

Vizag was so different from Hyderabad. I was a different person in Vizag, even if I say so myself. Oh, still very introvert and shy but I was more sure of myself. Boys always paid attention when I talked or walked or just sat there being the most boring person they ever met. My friends would patiently explain that I am a Muslim girl who was the shite, cause Muslim girls play hard to get, and are, you know, fair. So that was how I would turn head. ‘Cause I was well, Muslim, and this was well, Vizag.

I always walked everywhere I went with my eyes fixed on the ground. Pretty much to avoid eve teasers aka sick bastards.

One day walking to tuition, I noticed that there was this guy who has been following me for a very long time. He might have stalked me on other days as well, but I noticed only on that day. After tuition when I was walking back home he still followed but didn’t do anything. Little did I know that I’d have to bear the burden of my silence of that day for many more days to come. I’d cook up excuses day after day to avoid going to tuition. Fake stomach aches and make myself throw-up sometimes swallowing all kinds of nasty things for the same. I’d beg my little brother to accompany me and slap him when he refused. I’d wear the ugliest ill-fitting clothes and make myself look very unpleasant. After a few days of all this, I thought Enough is Enough. I was not going to cover in fear before this fool of an ass wearing sickly bright colored clothes and a Rajinikanth bouffant. I was going to walk out there and show him that I wasn’t scared. I was going to walk with as much liberty on the street as he and I was definitely not going to be intimidated. But of course I was scared shit. But I went out with a strange sense of fearlessness.

I came out of tuition that day and he was standing a few steps away (waiting for me, I suppose). All the people from the tuition were standing a few yards away. He came towards me and I started walking away. This was new. I was so used to being the eye-candy, I would’ve been surprised almost if I wasn’t so scared. I mean, come on, I was a defenseless 15-year-old. He, however looked very determined to disturb the routine. Three taps on my shoulder and I froze right there. Then he started telling me how much he fell in love with me. The close-to-incredulous look must have offended him somehow because he started shaking me by my shoulder. That’s when it crept up very fast. Uncontrollable rage. I worked up all my energy to give that One Tight Slap across his face. Smack! And all the smugness and swagger vanished from the face. I, well, ran away, tears blocking my vision completely, to my friends.

The guy got away from it quite easily, the blows from my tuition boys notwithstanding. But I lived in mortal fear for many more weeks. It may seem silly, I know. But I was always scared that he would jump out of some dark corner and throw acid on me or do some scary something else. Needless to say it was not the happiest period of my life, it was tough and challenging. Also, I learnt a lot during this time. I became less shy and pathetic. I’m not scared any more to shout at guys who accidentally bang themselves across my back. I don’t ‘let the guy pass’ when I’m driving. I just hold my head up high and let them go burn in hell, Allah damn those stupid apes.

Name: Zoya

Present age: 19.

Blank Noise Action Hero Rachna

2009-06-21T00:16:00.000-07:00

I was on a train, returning from an educational tour in Rajasthan. Sitting among a group of friends, munching potato chips, cracking up, screaming at each other, singing, and doing the occasional jig. You could say I was having the time of my life. I could see out of the corners of my eye, that there was a guy with his eyes glued to us. Moving a little, I could see he was young with a crew cut and a ruffle bag. Army guy. Seeing that he wasn’t embarrassed at my noticing, I switched to my natural defence. Stare the hell out of him. This time it didn’t work, though. He seemed quite entertained by it, actually. He picked up his mobile and called someone, barked a laugh and continued leering. Then they came, two burly meat factories with a crew cut. And they brought with them, a camera phone.

My friends didn’t want me to get very wild. They wanted me to go up to our teacher and tell her that these creeps were clicking our pictures. So I did. I got up and was tried to rush past them – which was not possible because there was a) a beeline to the bathroom and b) pieces of luggage sticking out onto the aisle. One glance at him and he was lying down, smirking at me. Another glance down and his foot started sliding slowly down my thigh and up. And that was when I lost it. I must have shouted pretty bad because he started cringing and denying everything. I must have shouted so bad he started begging me to stop. Some boys from my class came running and took away his phone to delete pictures. In a fit of gallantry, they all agreed to switch berths with us. Very disturbingly, the guy and his friends seemed quite unperturbed by everything. Amused, even. Infuriating, it was. It took me every fiber of self-control in my body to not hit him. As walked away I heard him say, "Aaaay ladki. Be in your limits. Simply don't do ekstraws." Not bad for parting words.

Name: Rachana.

Emotion: Rage.

Age: 14

Blank Noise Action Hero Garima

2009-05-24T00:43:00.000-07:00

Having lived in hostel since my graduation days, many times i have experienced greedy eyes around me n other girls....most of the times it scared me badly, but this incident took away all my fears and made me behave very boldly. i was returning back to my hostel with one of my friend(female) by 7 in evening. We took a shortcut which passes through a housing colony. generally, we always saw women and kids chatting and playing across this route, but that day it was quiet....just 5 minutes away from my hostel, towards the end of this road a bike crossed us. then it stopped and boy near about 27 - 28 year old turned back to see us. But as i was busy talking to my friend i didnt suspect him. as we reached closer this man looked at us trying to say something so we slowed down a little thinking he needs some help. he said," i baar choone do" and started moving his hands towards my bust. he kept repeating these words n also repeatedly moved his hands towards me....we were positioned so badly there that at one side cars were parked and other side was occupied by this man and his bike. i got scared and screamed with all my strength...by this time a middle aged man passed us and he stopped his car. seeing them this man ran away but my friend noted down his took his bike number. then i called my hostel friends and we decided to take this matter to police and gave them the details of boy along with the bike number and within two days he was caught. i was called to police station. when i reached their, i was surprised to see all police officers trying to convince me that filing a case may become a trouble for me later on as i live in hostel and would not be able to take this case to some conclusion....but i was determined so they had to do FIR.
But with this my problem started....everyday this boys relatives used to call me pleading that i should take my complain back and that they will bless me forever. then one day i got a call from his wife crying and pleading for help...i told her how should i leave him as he may not stop here....but her tears forced me to tell her that ok i will see. that was last call from there side as after few days i moved on to mumbai and really dont know what happened about that case.....may be sab rafa dafa ho gaya ho.....but, this whole feeling was very insulting and staying away from home also made me more insecure about the whole thing...may be thats one reason why i didnt do much for this case.
garima.

location: bhopal

Action Hero Manita

2009-05-10T01:39:00.000-07:00

I was traveling in a local train along with my brothers and a man just boarded the central train and i was zapped at his guts that he had the nerve to press me on top in the train. For a moment i was shocked and didn't know what to do but within a few seconds i mustered up my courage and slapped him on his face.

On top of it he is like what is your problem and i simply told him if you don't want to be beaten red and blue better watch your actions.

My brothers who were unaware of what happened couldn't believe that i can hit a middle aged man but later realized that he might have misbehaved to deserve it.

I think that most of the time females don't take any step is because of the fear that it would be embarrassing to reveal to the people or that people will know what we went through and end up not raising their voice against it and get succumbed to it.

I was wearing a salwar kameez that time.

Blank Noise Action Hero Neeru Malhotra

2009-04-25T16:51:00.000-07:00

I had gone for my usual evening walks, after walking for some half an hour it became very dark as there was a dust storm approaching so I decided to head back home. The park is around 1 k.m. away from my home and the lane just in front of my house is kind of isolated at all times and during school time while returning home in the afternoon I always used to get a random kiss from the uncle on the scooter, a laborer on his lunch break and many more. But other than that there never has been any "major" incident.

So, as I reached this lane and when I was about 500m from my place it started to rain very heavily so I started walking a little fast. This young guy about 17 years old was walking in front of me and just happened to turn back then. The moment he noticed me, he started walking slowly and kept on looking back every second. This alerted me and I took of the earphones from my ear and kept them in my pocket and started walking even more slowly so that I don't have to pass past him and kind of waited for him to pass my home.

When I was around 10 steps away from my house and he was around 5 steps ahead of me, he kind of turned back, lunged forward and tried to kiss me. I moved back and abused him 3-4 times and kept on staring him in the eyes. Now what I was expecting after this was that he would back off and probably go away.. but he stood in front of me stared me in the eye and says, "Kya Hua?" This got me fuming with anger and I thought to myself that whatever may happen I am not letting this bastard go off so easily.

I held his hand and since it was still raining very heavily I thought that I might lose grip of his arm very easily so I held on to his shirt (the front part) which kind of tore apart after I held it. At this point I started shouting for my mum, as all this happened just beneath my house I was hopeful that she will hear me somehow. To fight back this guy, started pinching me on the stomach and I kept on holding on to his shirt making sure that in any case I do not let go off him.

When he realised that it might be a little difficult for him to get away, this is what he said:

the guy - Didi galti ho gayi aage se nahi karunga mujhe jaane do

At the same time I kept on shouting for some help, this continued for about some 2 minutes, when my mother overheard my shouts and came running out of the house. She saw me in that condition, fighting a guy she was shocked and held the guy and started to slap him, by this time.. some workers working at my house came running down and started beating the guy. I was too shocked and shaken to do anything by now and my mum advised me to go upstairs. I came up to my house and called up my friend and started telling them about the incident to feel okay and calm.

When my mother came upstairs she told me that he was a school student who was coming back from his tuition and lives nearby, she made him call up his family and his father came down to our house. His father was a laboratory assistant in Delhi University and was ashamed of his son's act and apologized on his behalf. My mum did not let the crowd that had gathered beat the guy after the initial anger had subsided because she thought that it could have angered him and was not the right thing to do. The guy's father took him home and the guy's version was that he had never done anything like this before and quoting his own words "jab Didi ko dekha to nahi raha gaya".

Well, this is one of the major experience I have had with eve-teasing and I remember that when I was holding on to the guy's shirt I was looking at his other hand to make sure he didn't have a knife or something. Later, people did tell me that what if he had done something to you and my response was, at that time what I knew was that someone had tried to infringe on my body, my space without my permission and anybody who does that needs to be told that i am NOT OKAY with it. If he would have done something I don't know what I would have done but i couldn't bear to live with the guilt of NOT doing anything.

time : 6p.m. , 19th september 2008

felt : anger, rage, violent

age : 19

age at the time of experience : 19

location : New Delhi, in front of my house

2009-04-20T13:01:00.000-07:00

.i was driving back home and my driver suddenly got into a brawl with a taxi driver.The taxi driver looked quite drunk his eyes were blood red.The taxi driver refused to accept his fault and instead retaliated by throwing my grocery packets out of the car and one on my face.

The whole scenario took a very ugly turn with a mob of hooligans staring and laughing the taxi driver turning violent and pulling my driver out of the car to hit him and me pleading to that wretched taxi driver with folded hands to resolve the matter .
But he was adamant.....to hit and suddenly two constables rather devils in disguise land up and after having listened more to the taxi driver and less to me declared that we all should be taken to the police station.

Now neither was this a case of accident or any mishap it was a case of indecency on the part of the taxi driver....
The constable just barged into the front seat of the car and shouted chalo police station....i started arguing and refused to go......i said i see no reason...why u are asking me to go.....to the police station...i told the driver to divert the car home as i neded to go home and the driver could go to the police station....but the constable turned the steering wheel and did not allow the driver to take a right turn...instead he started yelling and made hitting gestures at my driver......if he disobeyed
when we reached the police station....the constable asks me rudely to accompany him......to which I refused....I said my brother is coming and i will not enter the police station unless my brother comes...after 5 min he came and called me again......i kept sitting in the car.....refusing to go.........I HAD MY REASONS........i felt insecure entering a police station....coz i never saw them as protectors but i saw them as savages.
secondly i was wearing decent clothes a jeans a and a t shirt which i felt......would make them ask me some provocative questions....i don't know some how my gut feeling was that .....things would not focus on the brawl between drivers but else where...........
I kept waiting till my driver came down and asked for a 100rs which would solve the matter but i should say a few words to a constable hanging just outside the police station that a fight had taken lace between my driver and the taxi driver...instead of being polite or mannered the cop asks me did the taxi driver act funny with you....."did he touch you?".....
I was furious .....i took a cab and left .......
So......do you think the police that is on duty for protection....... or is it hungry searching for a fresh bait to hook on some money
I saw no politeness decency or any qualities that could make women feel secure on the streets or roads...

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO DIVYA

2009-03-04T12:08:00.000-08:00

I am Divya from Mangalore. I go sometimes alone to places. One I went to the park near my college. One guy came and sat near me. He touched my breasts. When I stared angrily at him, he apologised. But after two or three minutes, he again prssed my breasts, this time harder.
I got up and slapped his face 4 times , very hard and walked out of the park.

Time: 11 am
Age at the time of experience: 25
current age: 27

Divya felt anger

Blank Noise Action Hero Sravanthi

2009-02-28T11:52:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of happier things I wanted to write about. But that will have to wait.

Shit happens. We all know that. And it happens at the worst possible times. We all know that too. But we are never really equipped to deal with it.

Yesterday, I took an auto on my general route to work. I have been doing this everyday for more than a year more or less peacefully (save a few minor squabbles over excess fare). The auto driver was youngish, wasn't wearing his uniform, wasn't displaying the neccessary registration details and had a cocky swagger. It didn't matter to me when I got on. As long as he takes me to his destination, the rest is none of my business.

Halfway through, I noticed that the meter was running high. I chose to give him the benefit of doubt and let it be. But at a certain point, around a kilometre from my workplace, when the meter showed up to Rs.20/- excess, I made myself vocal. I told him I take the route everyday and that his meter is showing a higher reading. He stopped the auto and told me amongst a lot of other things which I didn't fully comprehend (I don't understand Kannada very well) to pay and leave. I told him I would pay only the correct amount upto that point. He argued more. I told him to go to the police station. While staring lewdly, he said that a police station was in a far off place and asked me if I would come there. By this point my inner sensors were already screaming themselves hoarse. It was more of his body language and his gaze. I got down immediately.

I went around and took a photo of his number plate, which is when it all happened. He saw me doing that and jumped out and started abusing me. He almost came to hit me. And then he said 'Should I open my pants?'.

I was too shocked to even respond to him. I ran across the busy road and stopped another auto. I saw this guy looking at me from across the road. I told this other guy what happened, and started crying while doing so. It just didn't stop. Soon another person stopped and asked me what happened, I told him. And then another. And another. Soon a crowd had gathered. The son of a bitch was watching this from across the road and had the nerve to cross the road in his auto and parked a little ahead of where we all were. All the people moved towards him and started threatening him. It was all a blur then. I stood there very scared and very angry. The crowd got the guy out of his auto. As he came towards me, I got scared again and stood behind somebody. He asks me in a threatening 'What did I do? Why are you making a scene?'. The crowd then all yelled at him and said that they saw what happened and that he bloody well apologize. He said 'Ok fine sorry. Now go'. I was too scared to react, fight and demand a better apology. I doubt I would have got it then.

A kind gentleman dropped me to work and attempted to calm me down. He gave me his number and told me to contact him if there was any more trouble.

I sat shaking in work and then spoke to a friend. While I was beating myself up for crying and not having the guts to do enough, she told me that I did the best I could and that she was proud of me. When I later spoke to Manj, he said that if I wanted to do something about it, I shouldn't waste anymore time. I decided that I wanted to give a police complaint about this.

To cut the long story short, I went to the police station and filed an NCR. Not an FIR. And I do not know what exactly the difference is. Contrary to the general perceptions of police stations, the cops were attentive, polite and helpful. And no, I did not pay a bribe. They told me that I should not worry and they would take care of things. They promised that they would trace him out soon and deal with him. Right now, I choose to trust them.

I choose to fight this and not let it go. I want action against that guy. And I will not drop it.

Am I scared? Hell, yeah! Stepping on to the road is an achievement in itself now.

But I also don't want to operate from the fear psychosis. I don't want to change the way I live because of this.

And just to add, my support system is to die for. People were just there. No questions asked. I really don't know if I could have done this without them.

Also, the total strangers who fought with the auto driver, showed me again, that my faith in humanity is not misplaced.

MUSEUM OF STREET WEAPONS OF DEFENSE

2009-02-08T09:59:00.000-08:00

Blank Noise Action Hero Deepika Kumar

2009-01-10T23:00:00.000-08:00

I am in my early 30s and was born and grew up in Delhi. I remember the very first time that I had my first-hand experience of sexual harassment- I was barely 9 at that time. I was standing at the bus stop with my older sister, waiting for my school bus when a rickshaw puller passed by us. He winked at me and blew a kiss in the air suggestively. I didn’t really understand at the time why he did that but I do remember feeling strangely uncomfortable. Since that time, there have been countless incidents of such harassments and I have dealt with them strongly each time that I have felt secure enough to do so. Usually, if you find yourself in a secluded spot and someone is harassing you, it’s always better to try and get out of the place as soon as possible instead of trying to confront the teaser. But if you are in a public place then there are high chances that people will help you if you choose to confront the teaser.

My most recent brush with street harassment was when I went to a local market in Gurgaon with my older sister, my niece who is 10 and my nephew who is 9. It was about 7 in the evening and it was getting a slightly dark, but it was a crowded market. We were casually walking towards a shop when a guy walked from behind me and brushed against me. He looked liked he was in his late teens and was a vagabond sort of person. Acting on pure reflexes, I pushed the guy from behind and screamed “dhakka de raha hai saale (you trying to act smart, idiot?)” really loud. The guy was clearly not expecting me to react this way, lost his balance and fell hard on the ground knocking down a standing bicycle. He looked up and started muttering something with his hands folded in an apology and that’s when I realized that he was either drunk or doped as he was slurring. I stopped myself from kicking him since I was also taken aback by his condition. My sister also screamed at him and a small crowd gathered. Then another teenage boy- perhaps his friend, came forward and started apologizing saying that his friend is drunk so I should spare him. The crowd started asking what happened and I told them but I decided to end the episode there and we walked off. As we were walking away, I realized that my nephew was in a state of shock because he had never really seen his aunt react so aggressively before. He looked very scared and I felt bad for him. He asked “bua apne uus aadami ko kyun mara (Aunty, why did you hit that guy like that)?” and I tried to explain to him how that guy had acted inappropriately and so deserved to be hit like that. I apologized to my nephew for scaring him. My niece on the other hand seemed to be in good spirits and even said how she wanted to kick the guy herself. I guess girls have a natural sixth sense about these things. Then a few minutes later we walked into a pet shop and both the kids forgot about the incident and started playing with the puppies in the store. I felt relieved.

This was their first lesson in sexual harassment and curiously enough they experienced it at around the same age as I did so many years ago. This just goes to show how things have remained the same over all these years and even today women have to face such insults on almost an everyday basis.

2009-01-04T13:01:00.001-08:00

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Blank Noise Action Hero Kohl

2009-01-04T12:47:00.000-08:00

I went to India for a month to meet family I have not seen since my birth, and subsequently my famiy's moving to England. In my town, sexual harassment is not very common. For me anyway, I'm only thirteen. However, the second I arrived in Bangalore airport, men probably twice my age would be staring, whistling, making comments that I couldn't understand, I don't speak any indian languages. I just ignored this, walked straight past, chin up. Let them stare, it wouldn't bother me, one day they would learn to respect women when one slaps them round the face-hard. I knew it wasn't because I was pretty, but rather I was white-we saw many foreigners during our stay, but not many were young women, so guys like this just saw it as an oppurtunity to tease and speculate. I kept this attitude until we came to Chennai. After a long day of shopping in T-Nagar, my mother and I were walking down the main street, and it was beginning to get crowded-it was about 3 o'clock, so people must have been coming back from work. We passed three men on the street, who stopped after one of them pointed at me. They raised their eyebrows at me really suggestively, but I just smiled-I found it really pathetic, and walked on. I saw that they were walking after me, but I didn't think the stalking would last as long as it did-5 minutes I thought, as a joke. My mother wanted to go into a silk house, so we did, and I thought "Oh, they'll stop now." I looked out the window and saw all three standing outside! One was pointing and mouthing something at me-I scowled a bit and then walked on to where my mum was walking to. Meanwhile, the guys had come inside the shop and by bad luck, I walked in front of them while they were looking for me! They gave me this big smirk that made me feel really anxious so i hid behind my mum, this was a big department store so surely I could lose them. A salesman was talking about something to us, while the guy who had been mouthing walked past-and very deliberately "accidentally" brushed past me. I began to text my friend back in england to ask what I should do-I wasn't very close to my mum and found it hard to discuss stuff like this with her.

A few hours passed and I saw no more of them, so I felt really safe. As we walked out, one was sitting by the door and walked out too, and immediately I felt sick. How long was this going to go on for? He paused by a lamppost to call someone, and we quickly walked past, and walked into a shop filled with pots and pans. I saw his two friends join him, and I was standing on the other side of the shop, trying hard to ignore them, but I saw them taking pictures. My mum walked out, not wanting to buy anything, and they followed. My mum didn't understand when I asked to go into different shops, and just replied that we didn't have much time left before we had to meet with friends. The crowd had got bigger on the street and I was walking behind my mum, and these guys would brush past me, try and push me towards the wall, and the ringleader-the gesturing one, mimed masturbating while walking beside me. My temper was wearing thin by now, and I swung my fist out beside me and hit him in the stomach. I did it quite subtly but hard and he doubled up a bit. I ran on quickly to my mum, and said "I think these guys are following us." really bluntly. I didn't say what they had done, because she is really protective, and she misunderstood like I wanted her to-"Oh, they're after your phone. Put it in your pocket and lets lose them in the crowd." I looked back and saw their faces, so ducked a bit (my mum is really short anyway, so no one could see her in the crowd) and walked into a jewellery shop and went to the first floor.

I really felt so angry, and I wished I could beat the hell out of them. I was worried they would follow us all the way back to our guesthouse, and I was going to be alone there most of the evening as my mum wanted to see the owner of the guesthouse (a good friend of hers.) I don't think they realised how old I was-They looked in their twenties. I am tall for my age and I look quite a bit older too, so I think that accounts for it. After that, when people stared or winked, or whatever, I just smiled, looked ahead and walked away. I think thats better-your walk can show people what your attitude is.

age: 13
location: T Nagar, Chennai.
time: 3-6 pm
felt anger, fright, embarrassment.

Blank Noise Action Hero Monika Manchanda

2008-12-11T21:51:00.001-08:00

I wrote something recently on my blog... would like to share with u
http://monikamanchanda15.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-never-ask-for-it.html

and here is the article
First there was brilliant post by Mad Momma and then Chandni wrote about being harassed and in a excellent post urged us to stand up to stand up for ourselves

These posts got me thinking, now I don't think if u are women harassment is something alien to u... In India and (in think I some ways abroad too) if u are a women it cant be that u have not been harassed in some way or the way... It could be anything from a small passerby comment, serious eve teasing or something even worse... But all of us have had experiences doesn't matter whether one is old, young, even a child... doesn't matter whether one is fair, dusky or dark... doesn't matter whether one is good looking or not... if u of the female sex u have had it... isn't it... If there is any of u who has not had a single street harassment experience I would love to hear from u and rejoice in the fact that there is at least one girl who's spared from it.....

Now as all of u I have had my share of these too.... ranging from the small... "Hey smarty", "kya baat hai...",being asked "will u be my friend" to more vulgar comments like "degi kya" to some going even more further and trying to touch on empty streets and then the most common trying to rub at all the wrong places in a crowded bus.... Most of the comments on these posts seem to say that this is more common up north and specially NCR... I have been born and brought in Delhi... lived there for 25 years of my life which includes all of my teenage and the so called young flirty period but the worst I have experienced is after that when I moved to Bangalore.... Its spread all across and no region is better than the other...

I had written about one such incident here... It had totally shaken... I was depressed for weeks... couldn't eat well... would shudder at any male touch even accidental... avoided that crossing for months even if it meant taking a 1.5kms detour... actually I still try and avoid it though its been almost 3 yrs now may a little more....hubby stood there like rock supporting me and trying to make me understand that he was a pervert, he even said that we should go file an FIR if that would make me better and relived... An FIR in this country and that too when u didn't know who the guy was a didn't have any clue to trace him... useless right....anyways its been time and I have gotten over it... but I suffered and that man got his cheap thrill at my cost... isn't this what happens most of the times...

Then some months back... I was driving back from work at about 6:30 pm in the evening on the ORR.... there was not annoying traffic but at the same time it was not empty roads either... I had noticed one bike trying to overtake me again and again... now normally I find it a very common practice specially in Bangalore... remember I had written what had happened with that honda city guy so I ignored it and kept driving at my own pace... after some time that guy shouted something I thought may be he is trying to tell me something... an open door... a flat tire anything and when I tried to hear what he was saying.... he said "oh maal... kya baat hai baadi jaldi main hai" I shrugged and tried to speed up.... post that he started making all kinds of faces... licking his lips... passing flying kisses and what not... On one of the signals he even tried to touch me putting his hand inside the car through the open window... stupid me I should have closed the window... I know u are all thinking the same... but tell me why? Why cant I have the freedom to drive the way I want, a man is not required to drive always with a rolled up window then WHY AM I?

And at that moment something got into me... it was as if someone has taken over me and I have got this invisible strength from somewhere... probably it was months rather years of suppressed feelings, disgust and anger...Just after the signal I just took my huge Tata Safari and stopped right in front of his car and the most dramatic bollywood style gave him one tight slap... It sounds very funny or may be stupid but I felt so free and liberated at that time... I didn't care what the consequence could have been... actually I didn't think. It was an impulsive action but somehow I am proud of what I did.... Luckily for me it was a signaled where there was nice cop standing he immediately came over and so did some more people and when I told them what had happened they told me that I should go from there and they would take care of him.... I know for sure that the cop got him busy giving him a ticket for not wearing a helmet and wanted me to go from there so that he cant follow me... it was evident in the way he spoke... To think of it now the cop did me a favor... he could have done anything had he found my house and this is the fear we constantly live in... don't we....

We need to stand up for ourselves...get that fear away.... and No and I AM NOT ADVOCATING SLAPPING EVERYONE ON THE ROAD... and probably wouldn't do it the second time myself but I think we should stop taking this shit and stand up and make noise... do something about it but don't silently take it....

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO MAD MOMMA

2008-11-15T19:26:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I hit a man.

Not slapped - though I’d have loved one of those filmy one-tight-slaps that shook him to the core - just a hard whack on the back. I was out in the market buying groceries. And suddenly I felt a blow between my shoulder blades that threw me forward and I almost fell on my face.

I turned around to see two men on a bike, carrying cartons. They drove into me and bumped me with the cartons, almost causing me to lose a couple of teeth. It wasn’t an accident. They thought it was funny to harass me this way. They evetease and pass it off as an accident. To begin with, they were in the wrong place. In a pedestrian walk way, not on the main road. They had no right to be there.

‘Hey’ I yelled, ‘hey, look where you’re going. Are you blind? Shouldn’t you apologise?’

They looked at me and grinned at each other and drove on.

‘Hey’ I yelled, ‘hey, look where you’re going. Are you blind? Shouldn’t you apologise?’

They looked at me and grinned at each other and drove on.

I don’t know what came over me but I ran. In my high heels. I caught up with them and thumped the pillion rider on the back, wildly teetering. He looked shocked. The driver revved up and gunned the bike dangerously and tried to make a getaway. But it was a crowded market and I chased and got in another hard whack on his back.

‘Don’t you dare do that again..’ I screamed as they got away.

People in the market stared but no one tried to stop them. I didn’t care. I was fine. I could take care of myself. I was no victim.

In the last few years I think I’ve grown. I’ve never forgiven myself for being a victim albeit just a helpless child. I’ve had my few shots as hero, but they’ve been rare. I’ve begun to make more of an effort. As a young girl I often blamed my parents for not noticing that I’d been molested. As I grew older I blamed them for never taking me to therapy, for helping me deal with the guilt, the misery and the confusion. But I think I’ve reached a stage where I take all blame and credit myself. And I also take responsibility. For myself and my children. I feel the strength and rage within me where I am sure that if anyone touches my precious children, I will gouge their eyes out, castrate them and feed them to vultures - never mind what the law does with me after that. Because if I don’t teach them to take care of themselves and be strong, who will?

I urge you to do the same. Stand up for yourself. Experience has shown me that no one else will. Don’t use the harmless phrase eve-teasing. Tell it like it is - call it sexual harassment. You are being harassed for being the sex you are. You are being harassed sexually.

——-

A few days after this happened, the Soumya Vishwanathan murder happened. I was out again buying groceries when a man talking on his cellphone reversed at top speed into me. I dropped my bags and jumped out of the way, just about escaping an accident. My first though was violent - I wanted to pick up a brick and bash his windscreen in. But sadly Soumya came to mind and I was terrified at the thought of him suddenly pulling out a gun or a hockey stick or just generally getting myself into a situation that I couldn’t get out of. And then it came to me.

I walked up to his car and going around to the passenger side I just shut the external rear view mirror. He looked up at me in shock and annoyance. I smiled sweetly and said in Hindi -’Oh I didn’t think you needed it. If you were using it, you wouldn’t have almost run me down.’ And then I walked away. I was damn kicked at having made my point, not having to shout and also not doing anything violent. I only wish I were always so ready with an answer.

And oh the bonus? He had to stop and adjust his mirror again. Yeah, small victory but it made me happy!

——-

And finally - again - a few days ago the OA and I were out in the market and another car almost ran over me while I stood by the side of the road waiting to cross. The driver was trying to squeeze through and was driving on the cement paving outside the store I was standing at. The OA by my side I didn’t have any fears and I banged on the window of the car. The driver braked. A couple lounged in the backseat, in each other’s arms. They got a shock and sat up straight, straightening their clothes and disentangling. Fear writ large on their face. Was I the moral police, objecting to them making out as their car crawled through a crowded market place?

No, I wasn’t. I was merely very disgruntled aam junta - the common man or woman, whatever you want to call me. Drivers in our country don’t take proper driving tests and supposedly educated employers don’t check if their driver knows the rules and neither do they bother to keep an eye out for them breaking rules or driving rashly.

So I just put a hand on the bonnet and dared him to drive on. The OA was hopping mad because we were against the damn shop and had the good Lord not been watching I’d have been squashed against the wall and perhaps lost a foot or something.

The driver glared at me menacingly and the OA pushed me out of the way to deal with this man who almost ran over his wife and now glared at her. But I was in such a temper I squeezed in under his arm and banged on the window till he lowered it.

And then I began to tell him off in Hindi. The swanky young couple in the back seat looked on dispassionately at me. I looked like an angry hen - oily, sweaty face, dishevelled hair, speaking fluent Hindi and chastising the driver so soundly that he could barely get in a word. But they didn’t apologise or chastise him.

That made me madder. I turned on them and summoning all the big words I knew in English, began to tell them what I thought of rich, spoilt, upstarts who made out in backseats while their untrained, uneducated drivers ran over unsuspecting bystanders.

They sat up straighter and immediately began to apologise. I then turned to the driver and told him that when you’ve just practically run someone over, you should have the decency to lower your gaze and not glare insolently. Apologise to me, I said. Apologise, said the OA. Apologise, said the shaken couple. He did. Suddenly he realised I was probably as well off as his employees/of the same social standing and that he couldn’t shake me off like he could some other poor, illiterate bystander.

I didn’t feel much better. I realise they only made an effort because they were taken aback by the way I spoke to them. Had I spoken in Hindi or seemed to be of a lower class (which they probably thought I was - dressed shabbily as I was!!) that they might have ignored me. If it’s not sexual harassment it’s some other kind of harassment - in this case - I only got an apology because I have an education and could ‘outspeak’ them. Assholes.

And I am very proud of myself. This is the shit we should be fighting. Not another’s wish to practice their religion in a certain way or their choices. These are the things we should be uniting and raising our voices against. Alas - we’re so divided on religion that we have no unity in matters that matter.

Response towards Step by Step Guide to Unapologetic Walking:

2008-11-02T15:16:00.000-08:00

***************************************************************************************
Every weekend we will update this blog post. The blog post will carry a Blank Noise Action Heroes experience when she tried Step By Step Guide to Unapologetic Walking.
To be an Action Hero you must try atleast 1 or all of the steps listed in the poster.
When you agree to try the Unapologetic Walk do share your experiences with us by filling this form. What you fill in the form will be added to this blog post.

what did you feel when you walked without your arms crossed or folded?

Smriti Chanchani: "naked"
Malay : "naked and bare"
Marjorie Barboza: "I don't remember walking with my arms crossed or folded... but if i did, it was probably to feel a bit more secure against people bumping into me".

More coming up. every weekend.
Until then- make sure you try our Step By Step Guide to Unapologetic Walking!

Yours truly

Blank Noise!

Blank Noise Action Hero Nalini Kannegal

2008-11-02T13:36:00.000-08:00

I have gone through it myself. twice that i recall were actual physical abuse and not just verbal. Once it was a man flashing and coming towards me probably trying to shake off.. This is particularly etched in my memory since it happened on 3 occasions same man same place.. the first time i ran.. the second time the very following day i was scared and saw him round the corner and took a bye lane. The third time i decided to confront him.. I picked a big stone and when he approached me ; while he was about a couple of meters away i abused him and told him if he came any nearer i would throw the stone.. i was scared but aggressive too... and he did not come any closer..

i try and fight my battles... when i was younger it used to scare me more than it does now.. that i think is basically because of the fact that i am physically weaker than a perpetrator can be.. or has been.. but i know for a fact now that physical strength is not the only thing that can scare them off... your aggression can too..
and the fact that you are willing to fight and not take anything lying back in itself is a great weapon.

BEING BLANK NOISE ACTION HEROES*********************************

2008-11-01T13:47:00.000-07:00

STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO UNAPOLOGETIC WALKING > BE A BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO. LET US KNOW WHAT YOU EXPERIENCED WHEN YOU TRIED 1 OR ALL FROM THE LIST ABOVE. MORE HERE

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO AARTHI MOHAN

2008-10-12T07:40:00.000-07:00

Saturday. Around 10:20 a.m. Sion railway station.

My friend Roh and I got tickets from the counter and were climbing the bridge to go to the platform. She was walking a little ahead of me. As I climbed the last step, I felt someone touch me from behind, where he shouldn't have. Sensing something odd, instinctively, I turned to look who that was. This man, definitely atleast 45 yrs. old, looks at me, gives a sly triumphant smile as a mark of having derived cheap pleasure, makes a lewd gesture and 'happily' strides away with the spring-in-his-step! For a moment, I just stared at him in disgust. But the look in his eyes, when he made that gesture, had already infuriated me. I was mad at him, wildly furious. I didn't stop to think further and yelled and screamed after him " kya be saale, sharam nahi aati kya? ....... " (now I feel i should use some gaalis in everyday language, just so I get used to saying them and they may flow out of my mouth with ease when required! maybe I'll write on 'the importance of gaalis' sometime.) So, I was fuming with rage and yelling at him. He started walking faster. I immediately turned around and found a policeman standing there, looking at me. I called him, pointed towards the wrong-doer from atop the bridge as 'there, the white shirt and black pants wala' and told him to run and catch him. Mr. policeman ran... and I was catching up... By this time, this @$$^*!& had reached the platform and was already on his way out through the gate. But Mr. policeman turned out to be efficient enough and paced faster and caught him outside and came with him, to where I was standing.

Now! I gave him a piercing look and said, "Bohot masti chadhi thi na tabhi?" and he was like " Maine kya kiya? Aap hi bataaiye maine kya kiya?" I was shaking with anger. I know why he asked that question. saale ko abhi bhi shaayad utri nahi thi. I'm sure he thought that I won't be able to say it, because there were so many people around by then. I said, I know what you did, you know what you did and you also know that what you did was wrong. Then he says, "Woh toh chalte-chalte dhakka lag gaya" to which i retorted "Aur gande ishaare bhi apne-aap hi ban gaye na?" He tried everything he could, to escape. Even asked the policeman that how can he be arrested just because I am saying something, to which, the policeman told him that she says so, you have to come along. I turned and told Mr. policeman that I'm ready to file a complaint against him, so why talk to him anyway? As I was heading forward, it suddenly struck me - how will my parents react to it? They may not approve. I didn't know. Behind me, he was still pleading to be let off. I turned. I said, " Theek hai, maafi maango, abhi." His immediate reaction was as if I'd hurt his male ego. I said, either you apologize publicly, for what you did, or I'm filing a complaint. The next moment, he folded his hands and said "Sorry madam". I watched his ego crumble into a thousand pieces. And he apologized twice, thrice, five times over. I motioned to Mr. policeman and he let him go. I thanked Mr. policeman; first, for being there at the right moment and second, for doing what he did.

As I walked upstairs, to the bridge, I saw all the people there staring at me. I was still hot-headed. There was anger in my eyes. Roh was standing there, clueless, waiting for me. I then told her everything. We got into the train. My face was so hot! A thermometer would've burst with the heat due to my anger! It was only after an hour or so, that my anger-level lowered a bit. At the end of the day, I felt drained. Naturally so.

But then, there was also this satisfaction inside me. He would've done that to many other women before and they must not have reacted this way, which is why, he did it to me. I can't say whether he will or will not repeat this with someone else, but atleast, I can be sure that he will think twice. And he'll probably never forget me. Moreover, from the crowd of more than a hundred people there who witnessed the incident, the men saw. And the women saw. I don't know whether having seen this will change their attitude. However, I sincerely hope that it does.

Next, I will talk to my mom about it and get to know as to how she'd react if I file a police complaint against someone. Also, I'd like to read the law a bit and know what comes under sexual harassment, what action can be taken, etc.

For now, I feel like a superstar - confident about my confidence.

age at the time of experience: 20 years
current age: 20 years

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO BHAWNA PRAKASH

2008-10-12T07:33:00.001-07:00

This happened way back in 2005. Although it was not the first the first time that someone tried misbehaving but this sure was the first time where I stood up against some 20 uncles trying to blame me for something in which I was the VICTIM!

Early in the morning, at around 5, I boarded Haryana Roadways bus from Roorkee to Chandigarh. The bus being overcrowded, I managed to find a place on the last seat, next to an elderly uncle thinking it would be safe. Some 20 minutes later, ‘Uncle ji’ started feeling me up. I asked him to behave to which he did not listen and few minutes later he started feeling my thighs. That was when I completely lost it and ignoring Uncle ji’s age slapped him hard right on his face. Obviously after creating such a scene, I had to answer everyone’s queries about what, why, how n all. To my shock, all 20 something uncles in the Bus started blaming me for sitting on the last seat. I knew then and there that if I don’t speak up now, I won’t be able to face myself. I lectured those ‘uncles’ for next 15 minutes in my ‘best’ lingo with the result that the uncle who was trying to get all touchy n all with me had to get down.

Time : Between 5.30 to 6 am
Location : Near Roorkee, in Haryana Roadways bus.
Age at the time of experience: 19
Current age: 22

Initially i was amazed which gave way to anger. I felt sad and hurt.

Blank Noise Action Hero Thea Bosey

2008-09-26T16:30:00.000-07:00

I am an American woman. At the time I was 27, in Paris with a girlfriend. We met a couple of young men at a falafel stand, who took us to a disco tech. We danced with them for probably an hour before we met some British people, who took all of us to an after-hours club. As these things go, I drifted away from the first guy to explore my possibilities on the new dance floor. This man started to whine and throw a fit, demanding an explanation as to why I no longer wanted to hang out with him. I didn't feel the need to explain my position to him; I was appalled at his lack of shame in his pathetic display and I simply told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore. He slapped me and turned around to flee. My instinct was to hit back--I kicked him. The crowd reacted quickly and he was escorted out of the building. I was angry and shocked, but I never felt afraid. I felt that I was surrounded by people who shared my same "culture," meaning we all understood the subtle and ever-shifting behavior in the nightclub scene. Looking back this man was clearly an "outsider" who was unfamiliar with this nightclub culture and in fact he was not a native of France (I won't say where he was from). What I learned from this man was that something in his up-bringing, i.e. culture, gave him a sense of entitlement to my attention after having known me for only a couple of hours. It's this complete difference in how the two of us view relationships with the opposite sex that scares me. We obviously both felt strongly about our positions. I could never be convinced that I owed him anything in this situation; could he ever be convinced that I didn't?

time : 2 am
location: Paris
age at the time of experience: 27
current age: 31
felt anger

Blank Noise Action Hero Laminerva

2008-09-26T16:28:00.000-07:00

This is not exactly sexual harrasment, but something about society that makes me feel angry.
I commute to office by autorickshaw everyday and this particular auto's meter was definitely rigged. So much so that I asked him to stop around 1.5 kms before my office and got down, and agreed to pay only 30 when the meter showed 40. He started yelling and speaking in a demeaning fashion. I went up to the Policeman nearby, and complained that the meter was rigged, and finally paid the auto guy onlky 30 bucks. But in the course of the conversation, I mentioned the place I work at and the auto fare to that place. As I walked away, I couldnt help the doubts that entered my head- what if he stalks me, or throws acid on my face? He was this typical uncouth youth, whom Im sure wouldnt think twice before assaulting/insulting a woman. When I spoke to my mother about this, this was her immediate reaction- what if that guy tries doing something to you, now that he knows where you work? Doubts still linger...I know I did the right thing, but shouldnt have mentioned my work place

time: 11 am
felt anger, fear
age: 23
age at the time of experience: 23
Location: Bangalore, near MG Road

Blank Noise Action Hero via Kazakabin

2008-09-26T16:26:00.000-07:00

it actually happened 2 my fren, who"s working as a radio jockey, she was watchin a movie wit her fren wen a drunk man came and sat next 2 her n started disturbung her by passing vulgar comments n my fren aked him 2 stop it n instead of stopping he continued 2 disturb her.. n my fren suddenly send a message 2 the so called police emergency cell askin 4 help, she expected that thus would work as it was belirvrd 2 be efficient un their service... bit nothing worked n no assistance came in for her from the police...then my frenshoted at him n he changed seats as he was afraid wen ma fren told her that she'd informed the police.. but afetr d movie that man again followed my frens 2 d nearby park,n said he wants 2 be her fren and asked 4 her contact no n wen she asked him 2 get lost he started threatening her,my fren being a bold gal shouted at him n told he"l report it directly 2 the police commissioner n she began 2 cal her frens from office n den dat man left off threatening her dat he"l teach her a lesson

time: 3.30-5.30 pm
felt anger
location: theatre n park
age of the narrator : 21

via shop owner in Ludhiana

2008-08-25T14:30:00.000-07:00

Men can participate in building the action heroes blog as well! All you have to do is have conversations with the women around you, about how they dealt with street sexual harassment. Document it/ write it and send it in. We will upload it on the Blank Noise Action heroes blog.

From a shop owner in Model Town Market, Ludhiana-

I have seen loads of eve teasing in my life. The girls in Ludhiana are very bold. They do not take it and they answer back properly.

I saw a girl who had been teased by a boy. She created a scene. She gathered a crowd. She hit him hard and then she put water in her shoes and made him drink it. She said " drink water from my shoes and only then I will spare you."

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO ANSHIKA VARMA

2008-08-25T14:04:00.000-07:00

I was at the bandra flea market on the main road and this random fellow kept passing me by. Initially, i didnt realise but in his second time i felt him feeling my butt when he passed by. It was a crowded area so i felt that maybe it wasn't intentional and didn't say anything. But the third time he passed us, he did the same thing to my friend and me. So i walked up to him and yelled at him. When he feigned indifference to the whole act, i had to threaten him that ill call the cops on him and took out my cell phone to tell him i was serious. That put him in order and he apologized and left immediately. But i doubt he wont do it again.

Time: 7:30-8 in the evening
Location: Bandra, Mumbai
Age at the time of experience: 21
Current age:23
Anshika felt a mix of both anger and humiliation.

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO NEERU MALHOTRA

2008-08-25T14:00:00.000-07:00

I was going in a bus from my college to my home, and somehow the bus became overpacked with people. I was sitting in the outside seat i.e. not the window side. This man standing beside me was leaning over me and kept on rubbing his thing beside my arm. After a minute or so I gathered the courage and said "What are you doing" his response "Nothing" (you could actually see the erection) I pointed towards his groin and went like "ye kya hai".. by this time the whole bus was staring at his groin. He started fumbling for words and I shouted at the conductor to stop the bus at the next police station. Till this time nobody in the bus intervened or anything. The guy got off at the next stop.

time : 2pm
Location:Bus. Delhi. Paharganj
Age at the time of experience: 18
Current Age: 19

Neeru felt anger

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO KISMET

2008-08-24T08:17:00.000-07:00

I was walking home from college , about a 45 minute walk. It was a beautiful day- nearly winter but not really cold. The sun was out, and I just wanted to walk through the leaves and take it all in.
But no, that wasnt going to happen.
A car started following me about 5 minutes out of college. They followed me the entire way home at the speed of 5kmph. Imagine. I was walking and they were in a car. I didn't have a cell phone back then and I wasn't going to wimp out.
I got to a place 5 minutes away from home-familiar territory, took out a pen and paper , noted down the car number and made sure I was noticed doing it.
That's when the driver got out of the car and get this- he started yelling at me! AT ME! Like was I following him? Invading his space? Ruining HIS day? So i start yelling and I am shaking. Luckily, just then a friend drives by and he drops me home.
BTW, the guy following me looks at me and says,"I know who you are." and he tells me my name and address!
Wow! I wonder why he followed me then?
I report him to the cops, he says his driver was driving and he gets away with it.He was also my boyfriends neighbour. But what more could we have done, right? Other than maybe burn his car?

felt SO MUCH ANGER and so invaded, unsafe and trapped.

Location:GCG-11 to Sector 8, Chandigarh
Time: 12 noon
Age at the time of experience: 19 years
Current Age: 25 years

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO MEGHA BHAGAT

2008-08-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

This was when i was interning in delhi about 3 years back.
It was actually the first time i was travelling in DTC buses and had heard so much about "Dilli Ki Buses" that initially it scared me. My father was more skeptical and for the first two days he sent his batman with me! And then later i started taking the bus to the office and back. Then one day i took the morning bus like everyday and since there was no place to sit i was standing in the bus alley. At a stop a man got in the bus and from the backside walked to the front side of the alley and stood next to me.
Once the bus started moving he started moving too and in about a minute he was standing right behind me and with the jerks of the bus he would brush against me. The whole feel to that was so repulsive and my body felt grossed out. I just turned back and said "Uss taraf ho jao". He just gave me a look and said"jagah nahin hai'. That got me really like "what the fuck" and then in about a minute i turned back and spoke at a higher pitched voice "itni jagah hai uss side wahan ho jao". 'dikhta nahin hai yahan par ek bandey ki hi jagah hai". I guess it was the work of all the looks that people started giving him that got him moving away from the spot.
I dont know why but even after that i couldnt get it out of my mind. Maybe because it goes back to my childhood days of having experienced sexual harassment when i didnt know how to deal with it. And till date, even though i shout and abuse all the filthiest words to a man whenever something like this happens, i feel like filthy and repulsive for the whole frigging day.
Anger and revulsion grips me and the whole day i am thinking only about what is with men and their obsession with such stuff!

felt anger,revulsion,grossed out
Location: New Delhi, DTC bus
Time: 9 am
Age: 23
Age at the time of experience: 20

Blank Noise Action Hero Sabera

2008-08-15T05:07:00.000-07:00

I am 25 years old and have been born and brought up in Mumbai. I have experienced various different forms of ‘eve teasing’ throughout childhood, when I had not clue what was being done to me, and through adolescence, and later, womanhood where I felt pure anger and sometimes, helplessness. Like scores of other women like me in India, it’s not something that I am particularly fond of and may have even been a better person without these horrible memories. But the good part is I have learnt certain tactics to minimize risk from such occurrences. Most times, it works for me, it may not for others. Inspite of my ‘experience’, it still scares the shit out of me every time I’m confronted with one more of these ‘eve-teasing’ incidents.

There are several instances where I have taken action against molestation, groping, name calling, staring, and leering etc against me and my friends.

One time 2 female friends and I were walking through the crowded gullies of Bhendi Bazaar. This was at about 7:30 pm and all of us were in jeans and t-shirts. We were about 19 yrs old then. A guy on a cycle suddenly came past us and brushed by a friend. It hurt her as he pushed against her chest pretty hard. We passed it off as an accident. It was a crowded street anyway. A minute later, the guy came back and brushed against my arm. By this age, my reflexes were pretty sharp and I pushed him with my elbow to prevent contact with my chest. By now I knew it was not a mistake. This time I decided to take action if he comes once again.

The third time, he tried brushing his hand past my chest again, when I caught him by the collar and took off his cap. I had managed to get him off his cycle and make him lose balance by now. His reaction totally freaked me out. He hit me hard on my nose. Although my nose didn’t break, it hurt like crazy. The glasses I was wearing bent under the pressure. The glass was shattered pretty badly and I was thankful nothing went in my eye. Ofcourse he had begun to abuse by this time. He was about to hit me a second time when I kicked him hard on the shin. I was trying really really hard to aim for his crotch. I just wasn’t positioned well enough.

All this while my 2 female friends were mute spectators. They didn’t help me nor did they call for any. The guy was pretty much livid by now and was about to strike me again when a man walking nearby shouted ‘aye…ladki log ko chhedta hai?’ and that was my cue to handover. Suddenly a mob of people pounced on the guy and started hitting him. I ran from the place shivering out of anger and pain.

Another time I was traveling by local bus. It was fairly empty. There was a girl by the window in the double-seat in front of me. There was nobody sitting next to her. She was wearing a loose salwar kurta and dupatta. Later, a man, easily about 55-60 yrs old, came and sat next to her. I felt rightaway that he was sitting way too close. The girl cringed and moved further in toward the window. The guy moved in even more. I felt strange and disgusted. But I was unsure whether I should step in.

A moment later he nudged even closer to her. His elbow was almost into the side of her breast now. I bent forward and asked the man ‘itni nazdeek kyun baith rahey ho aap?’ and he said ‘haan? Kya?’. I repeated ‘Is ladki ke itni nazdeek kyun baith rahey ho?’ and then to the girl ‘is he with you?’ She replied in the negative.

The guy by this time had the ‘this is none of your business’ kind of look on his face. I knew I was not getting thru to him. I then said ‘please wahan woh khaali seat hai na, udhar please baith jayein. Poori bus khaali hai. Aapko bas yehi seat mili kya baithne ke liye??’. The whole bus was looking at the scene now including the conductor. He looked around, and then meekly got up and sat somewhere else. The girl turned around and thanked me. I asked her to revolt the next time and not tolerate such BS. It pissed me off that she took it all this while.

Another time I was waiting at a bus stop when I noticed a man staring at me. I was wearing a loose shirt and jeans. I knew I should be wary of him and avoided eye contact. He got on the same bus as me and was clearly making an effort to be as physically close to me as possible. I managed to avoid contact till I got into the bus. There was no seat so I was standing, when he suddenly came and stood very close to me. I moved a little away. The next moment from the side of my vision, I could see fingers reaching toward my breast. I grabbed his hand hard and twisted it as hard as I could. He let go with force and was clearly scared. He had a long beard and I pulled it as hard as I could. The whole bus had noticed by now and the conductor was shouting now.

The bus was in full speed by now. The guy got so scared that he ran toward the exit and got off the running bus! I looked back and hoped a car would run over his peanut sized penis and crush his balls. It didn’t… he only fell really badly.

For all the times I did something about eve teasing / molestation with me or others, I regret all the times I didn’t.

Location: Mumbai
Time: evening and day
Age at the time of experience: 19/20 years
Current Age: 25 years
Sabera experienced :Anger, disgust, triumph, pride

Blank Noise Action Hero the Tempest

2008-08-01T11:11:00.001-07:00

Few months ago me and my pals went to Goa. We decided to take the bus. After a continuous journey of 3 hours, the driver decided to stop the bus at a small tea shop. Behind the shop there were few houses. Being the fairer sex, its always a problem as far as nature’s call is concerned. So we found remains of a house and decided to relieve our selves.. I guess my sixth sense was extra sharp that day and just to be extra careful I took a stroll. To my horror I saw a boy between 16-18 eyeing the lady who went to relieve her self. I screamed out loud at him. That bastard just ran away!!! I was so furious. Just wanted to just catch him and thrash his guts out . I don’t know how long he was observing the ladies. But I was relieved that he wont, any more. Disgusting what some men do!!!

Location: on the way to Goa
Time: 10 am
Age at the time of experience: 23
Current Age: 23

felt violated, anger, horrified.

Blank Noise Action Hero Pooja

2008-07-27T02:59:00.000-07:00

This happened less than a year ago on a Sunday night. It was one of those days that seemed so perfect. It had rained all day and I'd spent time with my friends at my apartment. In the evening we went out. Around 9:00 pm, along with a friend I was walking back home.

Where was this street ? I wonder if it really matters. I wonder if by virtue of being posh, it had to be safe. Shouldn't every street in the city be safe for everyone ?

We were walking down a main road in Hauz Khas. Around hundred meters away from the main market, I felt that someone was following us. I don't think my friend had noticed. I deliberately slowed down to let that man pass. And he did. For a moment I reprimanded myself for eying every man so accusingly. But, right then, he turned around and started walking towards us. As he was approaching me, I moved sideways to give myself more space. He crossed us. He did nothing. But to my mind, something was still amiss. He was following us again. By now, me and my friend were concerned. We started walking faster. So did he. He crossed us again, turned around and groped at my thigh. I punched him hard and fast, and then again with my metal key chain. Even then, he had the audacity to run after us. But, by then we had reached the market and he disappeared in a bylane.

Some people would ask me what two of us girls were doing alone on the street. That, to be honest, disgusts me. Others still will ask me what I was wearing. I was wearing shorts and you know what, so was he ! Was that provocation enough for me to grope at his thigh/crotch ? No !

Everyday, when we walk down the street, we see men in all stages of undress, how come they are never asking for it ??

Location:Hauz Khas, New Delhi
Time: 9 pm

Age at the time of experience: 19
Current age: 20

Pooja felt: Anger, Amusement, Repulsion

Blank Noise Action Hero Sowmiya

2008-07-27T02:57:00.000-07:00

I was getting back from school.My school was pretty near by home and so me and one my friend were just chatting near my street corner.All of a sudden I felt somebody looking at me.So I turned around and saw this thirty something guy on a bike,He smiled at me disgustingly and looked downwards.When I followed his eyes and looked downwards,I was horrified to see him fondling his private part.Annoyed completely,I turned away and caught hold of my friend's hands.I was completely irritated and frustrated.I just wanted to walk away from that place.I was on the verge of tears to see such a disgusting and cheap guy.Then suddenly I decided I should do something about the pervet who just made me feel so awful!!!I always carried chilli powder with me right from the age of 13 when I was first eve-teased.I carefully took it out and hid it in my palms.Briefing my plan to my friend,I turned around and smiled at him.He thought I was responding and continued fondling and calling me.We waited for the right moment.A group of my class guys were coming near the street I was standing in.I decided to act now and clutching my friend's hands, we walked towards the pervert.He smiled enthusiastically.I went near him and before he could react, threw the chilli powder right into his eyes.He let out a yell but realised he was caught and tried hard to stifle his scream.Meanwhile my friend took the key away from the bike.The guy reached out to start his bike but since he could't find his keys,he was completely bewildered ans stumped.By the time,he tried to react, we started yelling and my class guys came running and so were the people living nearby.This was the first time I actually did something like this.Though it was a completely horrible experience, it was satisfying to see the guy completely humilated infront of so many people.The best part was in all this hulla-bulla the guy forgot to zip his pants back and onlookers were so shocked to know what he was upto. We thrashed him black and blue and trust me,there's nothing so soul-satisfying than that. With quick clever planning, one can really teach these guys a lesson!!!

Location: Chennai
Time: 4 30 pm

Current age:19
Age at the time of experience:17

Sowmiya felt: Disgusted,Irritated,Frustrated,Felt like crushing the private part he was fondling!!!

Blank Noise Action Hero Isha

2008-07-27T02:54:00.000-07:00

This is one of those posts, where I shall vent, abuse, crib and abuse some more.

But I also wish to bring up a long standing issue, where all girls will sympathize with me, they better!

Eve teasing.

Yeah. So that bloody sucks!

I mean men are so fucking sexually frustrated!

Kindly bear with me ladies, I’m getting to the point!

So I was traveling to office this morning with two of my friends. Today I had to travel in 2nd class compartment, as I didn’t have a first class pass from Kharghar. (I hate traveling by second class compartments!)

Now I was in the ladies compartment which is adjacent to the men’s compartment, and this train was one of those trains which don’t have that screen which blocks men from gaping at all the women in the compartment.(bloody pigs!)

T.V room as one of friends calls it.

There was still 5 minutes for the train to leave from Vashi, when this jackass came from somewhere and stood right outside the window I was sitting next to and started staring. Staring his fucking eyes out! I threw him disgusted looks a couple of times but he didn’t seem the kinds who would get the point. So I started to ignore.

The train started to move, but this asshole was hanging so far out from the door of this compartment that he could conveniently peep into the window and stare some more. Now I was getting uncomfortable. I still ignored.

The train halted at Mankhurd, and another chewthiya got inside the men’s compartment and started doing the same stunts as the previous jackass. But this one decided to sing!

I continued ignoring. When the train started nearing Kurla, I was starting to get REALLY pissed off. Coz this guy wouldn’t fucking stop!

He made a disgusting noise that sounded like a smooch.

THAT was IT!

"Abbe saamne dekhna! Idhar kya dekh raha hai tabse!" I yelled!

"Abbe tujhe dekh raha hoon kya bhains(buffallo)! Saamne dekh bolti hai! Tujhko dekh raha hoon kya!?!? Samajhti kya hai apne aap ko…" he yelled back.

"saala tabse toh yahi pe ghoor raha hai!!! bakwaas kya kar raha hai?!!?!?" I screamed back!

But after I said that he started ranting and abusing me further!!

NOW I wanted to slap him and fucking rip off his balls! What a fuckhead!
Before I could retaliate, my friend grabbed my hand and squeezed it hard, warning me to stop, coz no good would come out of it. I shut my mouth and hoped he would shut up too.

But he didn't stop there!! He continued abusing me and calling me unthinkable names for a good 10 minutes!! I felt my face growing hotter and hotter with humiliation and anger.

I was starting to wish that he would just fall off the moving train and hit one of those electric poles!!

After a while, some men in the compartment started abusing the asshole and asked him to shut-up coz he was embarrassing everyone. Which he finally did and after that he also stopped staring.

Oh man!!! I have never felt such white hot anger surge through me!! If only I could just spray pepper spray all over his fucking, chutiatic, gutter mouthed face!!!!

Aaarrrrghh!

When I finally got off at my stop, my friend reminded me.

“Isha, next time, just ignore such people. They are not worth it.”

Yeah so it’s always the girl or the woman who has to sacrifice and compromise her freedom and self-respect in front of such assholes!

I have been humiliated many times like this before! I have been called disgusting names and I have been grabbed and felt up many times. I can’t begin to say who violating it feels . Every woman has to go through that. And silently.

Coz if you do say something, this is what happens. You get humiliated like I got today.

Location: Mumbai local train
Time: 9 30 am

Age at the time of experience: 21
Current Age: 21

Isha felt: insult, humiliation, insane anger, ashamed, embarassment, violent

Blank Noise Action Hero Shreya

2008-07-11T22:05:00.005-07:00

Today I, my mother, my younger sister , my mom's best friend and her 13 year old son went to see Jaane to ya Jaane na. at Rave 3 Mall. After the movie ended at 9.30- we were making our way down the staircase in the main hall.

Every where there were people- my sister was climbing down in front of me and as i walked- someone suddenly grabbed my hand and turned me slightly and then grabbed and squeezed my right breast. After the moment of initial shock i turned around and running after the guy who was quickly making his way through people- tapped on his shoulder and as he turned- with all the strength i could muster- slapped him hard- very hard- the sound resounded through the hall. Then i slapped him again, and again, and again. A total of four slaps by the time which my mom and her friend made over to us and added a few of their own slaps.
By then the security guards came running down and asked me "kya kara isne?" Fuming with anger- i told them - "chhu raha thha mujhe" the words sounded so wierd out of my mouth- after which i told the security guards "do thappad mariye aap isko" and he slapped him again and i called him all the dirty words i have ever heard.
All this is the main hall of Kanpur's best mall filled with people on a saturday evening..
The fact was - these things have happened to me before and I haven't or didn't get a chance to retaliate- but this was too much.
I am prepared with my hands and mind when i go to a market or such - but in a mall with my mother and sister- I thought i was safe.
The worst part is the fact that the guy thought he could pull it off in a mall with security guards at every entrance and hundreds of people around. He must have seriously believed that i wouldn't react and just walk on pretending nothing happened- not wanting to create a scene. Meaning this must have happened with him when he did this to other girls since he looked like no amateur when he feigned innocence.
Happy as i am that i for the first time in my life retaliated- i can't understand my feeling of unhappiness and uneasiness which i am having now.
I don't think i want to go out to any mall for a long time now.

Why do i keep wishing i went from the other exit? Why am i unhappy?

Location: Kanpur. Rave 3 mall. Kanpur
Time: 9 30 pm
Current age: 17
Age at the time of experience: 17

Shreya felt shock, anger, courage initially. Later embaressment when everyone there was looking at me- later resentment and sadness.

Blank Noise Action Hero Tarangini

2008-07-11T22:05:00.003-07:00

I was at a bar in Pune (and to those who think I was 'asking for it' simply by virtue of being in a bar- Pphhhbbbtttt- you're as bad as the eve teasers!) I was very decently dressed- I'd been to a family dinner before. Anyway, so I was standing at the bar, talking and laughing with my friends, suddenly, I feel someone brush my bottom, and thinking that because it was crowded someone must've walked into me, I ignored it. But then, it happened again, and this time, the hand just stayed there! I lost it. I grabbed hold of the wrist attached to the hand on my butt, and rained down blows on the man attached to the wrist. He turned his face away from me and covered his head with his free hand, but not before I boxed his ears and shoulders good!

Location: Bar in Pune?
Time: 11 pm
Age at the time of experience: 27
Current age: 28

Tarangi felt : Anger followed by amusement at my ability to beat random guys into a pulp. Regret I wasn't taller and better built, would've beat the living daylights out of him if I were.

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO CASSANDRA

2008-06-29T00:43:00.001-07:00

this was my sister who did it... we were travelling by a rickshaw, when the driver started adjusting the rear view mirror to get a proper view of all that you could visualise about a woman.I did not notice but my sister immediately reacted and told him "Bhaiya mirror thek karo. Peeche dekhne ki koi zaroorat nahi". He retaliated and said that he wanted to see the vehicles just incase he would need to reverse. But she was not satisfied so she kept grumbling and fighting till the time we reached home making sure he doesnot look behind even once. But this guy was defensive. He was adamant and was not ready to turn the angel of the mirror. But we fought as much as we could through out the journey. I think the mirrors that they use to look at the passengers should be totally banned. Heard that it is banned by the RTO...but wats the point. All the peverts have them in the rickshaws....ASSES

Location: bandra to kalina
Age at time of experience: 23
current age: 23
felt more like a sexual object,,wat the hell i felt like am just there so that he can pry at my body..it was humiliating without doubt

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO CASSANDRA

2008-06-29T00:43:00.000-07:00

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO STORY VIA ANUBHAV P

2008-06-29T00:38:00.000-07:00

It was a regular day in college during the mid-march of 2008. After the familiar boredom settled down I was more than happy to let my hair down and sit under the sun at the canteen. After the daily dose of chit-chat I was off to my P.G. I live at a secure residential area with all the facilities at a stone’s throw, or so, I thought. Well, as an outstation student I always have to be on my toes. I HAVE to look after myself. That day, I had some work on the net and rushed to the café near my place. I was busy with my work when I noticed two guys sitting next to me constantly staring at me and whispering to each other. I chose to ignore the unwanted attention and resumed work. After I was through, I walked out of the café and felt genuinely free from the major suffocation I was suffering from because of those guys. But to my horror I found them following me. I was at once at vigil. That wasn’t a time to break down. I knew I had to think fast. I have no parents, siblings, cousins, guardians or even distant relatives in Delhi. I knew I had to handle it all alone.

I entered a shop using the pretext of buying some soft drink but that hardly did the job. They stood outside the stationery awaiting me. I could see my PG, my room, my balcony from there but I couldn’t, even in my wildest dreams, let them know that I lived there. What if they started stalking me everyday?! Then I tried two person’s numbers. One was a class-mate and the other, a senior. As luck would have it, my friend was out with his phone left in his room. My senior was at the North Campus at that time and proposed that I should join her immediately. I hurriedly hired a rickshaw. I assumed it would be the end of an undesired adventure but that actually was the beginning. Those guys literally ran after the rickshaw which carried me and covered the entire distance thus and that too in full public view. I stopped and entered the college my senior had asked me to and went up to her. She took me to the canteen and we sat there for some peace. Meanwhile those goons waited at the gate. That’s when I realized the anger within me. Why was I wasting my time and energy for those thugs?? How did they dare to stalk me? Did they think they could persuade me? I am no prey!!! Trust me; I did not encourage them in the smallest way possible. Finally I concluded that enough was enough. I had to face it. Moreover I was at North Campus and had a company. Now I was comfortable. We came out of hiding and suddenly I saw my friend (whose number I was trying) passing by. Those boys were still there. I stopped my friend and explained the gravity of the situation. My friend approached those guys and enquired what they wanted. Before they could reply there was a sudden outburst of emotions from me. I chided them to my heart’s content and called them morons!! In reply they only flashed a smile. I wonder what that meant. They took my friend aside and blurted “yeh dil ka mamla hain, pyar aise hi hota hain” (“it’s a matter of the heart; love just happens this way”). We finally handled the situation with dignity and send them off.

Today in retrospect, I laugh it off whenever I am reminded of the incident. It was really funny to see them literally running after a rickshaw!!! But at the same time I know, I can take it so casually today because I could solve the problem then. I warned them and refused to be nervous and collapse. That was a huge victory for me. Or else I would have remained in a state of shock for long. I did not want to be defeated. I knew those guys were human beings like I was. Agreed, they were two whereas I had no company but I saw to it that that did not make them feel that they were superior to me.

Location:North Campus, Delhi
Current Age: 19
Age at the time of experience: 19
She felt angry, in control, victorious, offended

I felt angry, in control, victorious, offended.

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO CHAMPAKALI

2008-06-29T00:35:00.000-07:00

Almost all girls/women are subjected to this indignity at some point in their lives.My 'experience' with eve-teasers began when i was merely 9-10 years old.As i grew up in a small town in U.P.i faced awkward situations many times and always associated them with confusion...a feeling of being contaminated and also one of sheer helplessnes until one day when i refused to take it anymore.I was on the railway station waiting to confirm my ticket with my parents standing nearby. in the whole confusion a tall hefty guy crept up behind me and felt my bum.I felt so violated and the pent up anger of many years rose up in me. i refused to let it go...i turned around and he, sensing my movement started to turn away..i hit him on the shoulder and back ..any part that i could grab but he was tall and muscular. he ran away...but i feel satisfied in the belief that he would definitely think twice before attempting this again.

Location: Allahabad railway station
time: 8:30 pm
current age: 27
age at time of experience: 21

Champakali felt anger.

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO MARJORIE

2008-06-23T01:39:00.000-07:00

I was walking down MG Road when thirty somethin years old men passed by me. One of them took this as an opportunity to feel my left tigh. On the moment I could only think "I can't believe it's happening again", almost ready to let it be since it was one among so many times. But a few seconds later, I thought it'd be better to tell this man something about it. So I turned around, walked up to him and said "excuse me!!", until he turned back and faced me. Then I told him something like this "I can't believe what you just did! You touched my tigh!". As I was talking loud and sounding very firm, a few people gathered around us. The man pretended he could not understand English but only Hindi... How convenient for him to pretend not to understand a single word I was saying. I only added that he should be ashamed of acting like this with women and left. As I turned around going back to where I was initially heading, I could here one man who had come to see what was happening telling him calmly that he should not do this kind of thing. The incident was closed. I was a bit angry and so used to peoples' bad faith or ways of denying that I was just satisfied that for once somebody I didn't even know supported me. At least I said something and made my voice heard to someone.

Location: MG ROAD. Bangalore
Time: around 11 am
Age at the time of the incident: 23
Current age: 24
Marjorie felt anger and satisfaction

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO RAVISHA

2008-06-23T01:34:00.000-07:00

a few days ago, a friend of mine and i were out for an evening stroll to the neighborhood park. we were dressed up in our usual attire and are so used to the people on the streets around our houses staring at us that we don't really bother anymore. we just reached the main road from my lane and i heard someone muttering behind my back...the man was saying non-sense stuff about how we were dressed and other things that a pervert usually says about feeling us up.i didn't need to turn around to realize that he had started walking a short distance from us..my friend didn't notice him as he was directly behind me..i asked her to walk a little slower so the man to walk past us...i was in two minds to slap him as the area around my house is always crowded and i didn't want to make a scene in my neighborhood...eventually i realized that he wouldn't stop saying shit if we just took it...all this had happened within a span of 2 minutes..just as we reached the market nearby, he passed us...we almost had to stop to make him pass...the moment he got ahead i gave it a kick right on his butt and MAN! WAS HE SHOCKED!! he turned...muttered something and hurried of, scared that someone else might join us to beat him up..it was HILARIOUS!

eve teasing in rampart in the area where i live..though it is a rather posh colony near central delhi, we have an uncountable number of high-on-hormones teens and adolescents who have way too much money than they can handle. we also have a fair share of creepy uncles who are dumb enough to try and tease the same girl twice!( an uncle roams on a scooter who once used the excuse of looking for a tuition centre to get his hand up my skirt was stupid enough to use the same excuse on me an year later...he got the worst lot of verbal abuses known to mankind the second time!) it's a pity how most of the girls think fighting back just leads to trouble. my parents have since the very first day taught me that a girl is not at fault is someone teases her. this has given me confidence to fight perverts and i have done so in almost a dozen times in my life...times when i knew that it isnt my fault that someone thinks that they can get away with teasing me...

Location: Delhi
Age: 19

Blank Noise Action Hero Cool Tarang

2008-06-23T01:17:00.000-07:00

Firstly i would like to thank Blank Noise for creating this platform. I am a student doing B.Tech from HBTI Kanpur,CSE and i would like to start the blank noise in kanpur as well where i think people really need fearless people coming forward and talk about issues which are ignored or largely suppressed. Our college has its Cult. Fest Taal, a two day function with a lot of cultural ho haa. The nite of grand finale is one of the most awaited nites as it is part farewell for the final year,but last year i.e October 2007 few people of my year came to the venue heavily drunk, they started abusing girls at the top of their voice, calling some female batch mates as wh***s and hurling all kinds of degrading abuses common in UP, i was with a couple of friends of mine, the group is known for its hooligan nature and people dont really meddle with their affairs, you know just like most "streetside romeos" who are without conscience wahtsoever. And few of them had grudges against a group of girls who fine even i find haughty at times but still no grudges meant against them. And they ranted out all possible shit that you can imagine, and to baffle me i found most people around me who were literally supporting them, lauding them as if they had just pulled of a hilarious piece of act. That you know is the biggest problem, which at times can really stop you from doing things, stopping people from doing what they are upto. I admit i was reluctant, i am sure those girls listened, any girls or anyone with a clean heart would have prefferd to walk out of the place and many gurls did that, you may say i could have had complained to my faculty, no way folks who would testify no one wants to go to Chief Proctor give testimony and be labelled a snitch. It' not "cool" you know, i tried to go from the place i and almost taken the exit when a thought came to my find that " what if my sister would have been in this crowd would you have had reacted in the same way........." that was enough for me i am medium built and gym is paradise far away for me, i knew i was no match but i slapped the hooligan twice, yeah i had a scuffle but my slap made the impact it had to.......... i got a warning form proctor for "rioting" but may be i was able to highlight thsi issue before the faculty.

Before i end i would love to know if we have anything like Kanpur Chapter of Blank Noise......

Location: Kanpur
Time: 9 pm
Tarang was angry.

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO RASHI

2008-06-23T01:15:00.000-07:00

Incident - I

My father has a transferable job and we would change cities every 2-4 years. I, young girl of just over 11 years was used to such shifts and now was in a place called Avadi near Madras (now Chennai). New people, new surrondings and a different language welcomed us. I was excited, curious and eager to explore the city with my parents! So after the initial settling down was taken care off we set out to experience Marina Beach. I loved the sea, the beach and the breeze. I was in high spirits. We had to change a bus on our way and we were about to get down the first bus when it happened. I was the last in que to get down and my parents was coaking me to get down fast. In the rush a man came just infront of me and pinched me hard. For a second I froze I didn't know what had happened and why did he do that. I was very confused and was feeling terrible. My excitement just vanished. My mother noticed my changed behaviour and asked what had happened I just mummered something about feeling tired and let it pass. The fact that I still remember it conveys how shocked and taken aback I was.

Incident - II

Same city ie Madras, few months later. It was Durga Puja time and Dad had found a Pandal where Durga Puja was carried out. I don't remember why but our school was closed that day and it was ashtami. The Puja Pandal was not walking distance but not too far also. My mom asked me to go there on my cycle just before lunch time and get the ashtami ka bhog (its the lunch served to Durga Mata and then mixed in food converting the whole food to Prasad) as due to some reason we all couldnot go there in in the afternoon. So I on my cycle with a bag containing a tiffin went there got the bhog and was on my way back. It would be sometime around 1-1.30 in the afternoon and there was noone on the road near my house but for a boy on cycle coming from opposite direction at high speed. I didn't give it much thought till he was very near to me and was on my side of the road riding very fast and staring at me. Before I could say or do anything he hit me hard on my chest and went ahead. I got enraged but was very scared so I did nothing and went home. But after lunch I told my Mom about it. She was very upset and told me that I should not take such things lying low and fight back and it was good that I had told her about it. She also asked me if I would be able to recognise the boy and I asked in affermative. She also told it to my Dad when I was not present. In the evening we were going to the Puja Pandal on the scooter and we overtook the boy. I immidiately shouted, he is the one. The boy heard it and immidiately turned his cycle and started running in the opposite direction. My dad turned the scooter too and chased him. I must say the boy was very good at cycling and Dad had a disadvantage of us being there too. When that boy realised that he is not able to shake us off he left his cycle and entered the nearby temple. Dad saw him and left the scooter and ran after him. Dad was well recognised in the area to few people joined him and asked what happened. He just said that he has to catch that boy. The boy was chased down and by that time people came to know that he hyad tried to act funny with me.
I have till date not seen anyone being beaten up that way. I dont know how many sandles, chappals and slaps that boy received that day. I hope he changed after that because I never saw him again. But I learned what my Mom said..... Fight Back!

Incident - III

Like anyother girl, I too have many stories of eve-teasing which I can share. But this ones special. I was doing my graduation (2nd year, would be 20yrs old) in Delhi from South Campus and my college was near Dhaula Kuan and I used to stay in Moti Bagh which is not very far away. I would reach back home anywhere around 2-3.30 depending upon the number of classes and plans with friends.
This perticular afternoon it was around 2.30 when I got down at the bus stop. There are two ways to reach my home, one is through the main road which is very long and another between the gallies which is short and deserted. I had not faced any problem on the short cut route and was comfortable using it. That day another man got down at the bus stop and started walking behind me. I didn't pay any attention till he called me out. I stopped and turned. He then told me that he is new to the are and was looking for a specific address and told me the address. I informed him that he has come much ahead and on the opposite side of the address he has mentioned saying this I turned around and continued on my way. I now felt that he was following me so I turned back and saw him coming after me. When I confronted he said that he is sure he is on the right path and I'm confusing him. He was too close to me by now and I was aware that there is no one around. If I should, people maynot hear or if they do by then the man would escape easily. The man suddenly attacked. I was already anticipating it so I moved quickly to block him and succeded ( I had learned Martial Arts for over 3 years after Incident-II but left as Dad again got posted out). He tried again and I was enraged. I punched him hard on his mouth his lips got caught between my knuckle and his teeth and he started bleeding. He was taken aback but he tried to get back. I blocked him again and punched him again on his face and in quick succession landed another blow on his stomach. He bend down because of pain and I hit him on his chin. He fell back and I moved forward. He was totally taken aback and turned around and ran away holding his bleeding lips. I turned around and walked home.
Now when I think of it, I feel that the surprise element caught him off guard and he could not retailate the way he was capable of.

The idea of sharing these three incidents was to show how I changed over a period of time. Today, I feel I am capable of handling any situation. Maybe this comes through my body language and thats why I face less eve-teasing now (Thank God for that!)

Location Avadi, Madras then Delhi
Time: Evening then both in the afternoon
Current age: 30
Age at the time of experience: 11, 20
From Shock to Anger to frustration to elation to confidence

Blank Noise Action Hero Preethi Naik

2008-06-13T07:04:00.000-07:00

My friend and me were going in the car and out of the blue saw another car following us.The men in the car were middle aged and one of them constantly kept putting his head out and grinning at us!!! I found it really weird and irritating!!! The same car started following us for quite sometime....this really got on my nerves....at the signal that car stopped right opposite to mine....I rolled down the car window and shouted out loudly and asked the one who was going on staring at us if he had any problem and told him to look in the front and not at us !!! This scared the middle aged man and he didn't bother us anymore! Its better to give it back to such losers rather than ignoring it!!!

Age: 23
Location: Bangalore. near MG ROAD.
Preeti experienced anger and irritation

Blank Noise Action Hero. Taran's friend

2008-06-13T07:01:00.000-07:00

My friend was with her group of buddies.
She received a call on her cell phone and went to a quieter corner to answer it.

After she was done talking she noticed men in car, who halted and one of them asks her, "How much?"

--- Narrated by Taran. This is an experience of one of his female friends. via Amrutha Bhushan

Location: Ulsoor Trinity Circle

Blank Noise Action Hero Zoya Phillip

2008-06-13T06:54:00.000-07:00

I was on my way to a friend's place which is in Kormangala.
I was walking with two other friends.
A man was walking towards us. He tried to get really close and almost placed his hand on my crotch. Almost like a reflex, I held his wrist tight and gave it a nice twist.
He looks back, and says "what?!"
I am like " What, What??"

via Amrutha Bhushan

Current age: 21 years
Age at the time of experience: 21 years
Time 2 30 pm
Location: Koramangla , Hosur Road
Zoya was angry and amused.

Blank Noise Action Hero Anon

2008-06-13T06:52:00.000-07:00

I was walking down the streets of my native town. I come here often. It is my mamma's home town. I was thoroughly enjoying my walk when I felt someone trying to feel my butt. I turned back and looked at this man who smiled at me sheepishly. I glared at him,he returned the stare in defiance.

I went up to the Bhaiyyas on the street and the autowallas and informed them that this man here was troubling me. He got a sound thrashing from them and almost got beaten up.

via Amrutha Bhushan
Location: Patiala
Age at the time of experience: 20

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO ANONYMOUS

2008-06-08T00:53:00.000-07:00

This hapenned a few months ago...
I was coming back home from school with my younger sister. I am in class 12th while my younger sister is in class 10th,
We live in a college campus and unlike most places in India.... it is pretty safe with security guards every 100 metres at points around the campus.
The bus stop dropped us at the gate and we both had to walk half a kilometre to our house. It was 2.30 in the afternoon and our lane was completely deserted. As me and my sister approached our house we saw a young well built man sitting on a bike in front of a house in our lane. Seeing us he started coming towards us from the opposite direction.
When he reached us he asked us the way to a wierd address. While my sister had crossed the length of the bike- it had stopped directly beside me and i could see the man very clearly.
He was holding the bike in his right hand, ie.. the hand nearer to me and as i looked on... i saw to my horror that in his left hand he was holding his penis.

Time: 2 30 pm
Age at the time of experience: 17 years
Current Age: 17 years
She felt -shock, nausea, horror , disbelief, confusion
city- Kanpur

It actually took me a minute to realise that it was his penis... my first instnct was to think...no, it must be some wierd rubber thing......
But he was with his left hand rubbing it up and down and it clicked me after two minutes that this guy was masturbating in front of us.

My sister who was in front had not been able to see this... and thinking this guy was genuinely asking us a address she started out to explain him that such a address did not exist in our locality and that he was mistaken.

The guy doing what he as repeated the address again and kept saying some insignificant things.... As the blood rushed back to my head i told him "yahaan pe aisa koi ghar nahin hain aur apni bakvaas kahiin aur karna"
I took my sisters hand and started walking only to see something spurt from his penis onto the road.
Sickened and nauseated... i walked fast with my sister towards our
house...
I looked behind after we had walked a safe distance to see he had started his bike and gone off.

Since my sister hadn't seen it.. she couldn't understand why i had spoken like that and kept asking me what hapenned. I couldn't say anything.. i was so shocked.
while i had been joking and teasing on our way back from the busstop hardly a word escaped from my mouth after this hapenned.
She couldn't understand why i was suddenly so quiet and i couldn't bring myself to tell her what really happenned...

after all who would believe this?
Though it had in no way harmed me.. i kept feeling wierd, shocked, sickened the whole day... till this day whenever i remember the instance i feel sick...
i can't understand what someone would get from something like that.
Though now i realise that i should have taken his bike number... i was simply numb at the moment and wanted to get my sister and mysef away from the crazy lunatic.

BLANK NOISE ACTION HERO ANITA SAMPATH

2008-05-26T09:43:00.000-07:00

Today was a really bad day for me.
I was walking back home from work. I reach a cross roads, one corner of which is also a bus stop. As is very common in Bangalore and I am sure in most other places in India, the foot path is blocked by vehicles, construction materials, street side shops, or what men make to be as open urinals. So I am walking on the side of the road and a bus reaches the bus stop... I move further in on to the foot path where a man is beginning to walk in the opposite direction. I try to move to make space for both of us to walk without hitting each other... he uses the proximity to extend his elbows and try to hit my breasts. Since I am used to such attacks, I was observing him carefully and as soon I see the attack coming through, I am prepared and I use both my hands to push him away. He just lowers his eyes and head and walks away. Obviously I am totally mad. Not wanting to get home in such a terrible mood, I walk up to the nearest juice shop to drink my favourite Butter Fruit Milk shake... which is back in the shop after a hiatus of about 3 months.

I try and forget the incident and continue walking home. In one corner near a park, there is a milk store and a lot of vehicles are trying to take a left and I had to cross the road. I patiently wait at the corner, letting them all go by before I cross the road. The last of those vehicle had these two boys who were on a motorbike and had the whole huge road to take a wide turn. But no, they get as close to the corner as possible and again the pillion rider extends his hand to grab/hit etc towards my chest. Yet again I gauge it, move back before he gets any closer. I turn back and give him a stare and all I get in return is a sheepish smile.

I move on as we all have to... And one street away from home, there is this guy walking in the opposite direction and towards me, as soon as he sees me, he opens his flap and displays his 'thing' for my benefit. I ignore and walk on past him. At this point I feel like he has turned and is following me. I was sure I was mistaken but I turn back to check and sure enough he was right there walking two steps behind me. At this point I freaked out a little. I start walking faster and try thinking hard on what my options would be if this guy continues to get more aggressive. Unfortunately there was no one home and I couldn't have outrun him anyways. I was counting on the fact that being a residential area, if I shouted for help a few people would come out and actually help. Luckily after a while, I could no longer hear his steps behind me and I reached home.

This has got to be a record of some sorts... in my life at least. Three separate instances of sexual harassment in 15 minutes. All this at what is peak time 7 PM where most roads are crowded. This at what is an area of old Bangalore filled with 'respectable' residents and shop keepers who have lived here for a long time. This in a city like Bangalore that claims to be safe for women.

I cannot anymore forget or get out of my bad mood. I cannot anymore not be angry. But be angry at who? Have hope on what? A friend of mine always asks me to look at the silver lining every time I don't like something. I am trying hard to find one here...

I guess there had to be something drastic like this that would make me write again after a long long gap. May be writing will help coz I do not want to go to sleep hating the whole world.

Time: 7 pm
Location: Bangalore
Age at time of experience: 27
Current age: 27
experienced Anger, insult, humiliation, loss of hope

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Action Hero Anon # 5

Blogathon 2006 : Author Anindita

This was written for the Blank Noise Blog-a-thon on Street Harrassment. I couldn't think of a clever title so this will have to do for the moment. This is to all the men out there who dehumanise me, and themselves, regularly and don't even realise what they're destroying.

I could meet your eyesunafraid, and smilein recognitionthe special kindthat strangers share

I could look at youand feel a perfectunbroken love,the kind that springsfrom common humanity

I could imagine,your life and senda silent hug, air-borneto your childrenwho I will never meet.

But it's hard becauseyour eyesburn a leerinto my breasts

It's hard becauseyour hands reachwhere they shouldn'tThis is my body.

It's hard becauseI know thatalone in dark places,you are a beast.

Blogathon 2006: author A

Blogathon 2006: Author A

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man in the park

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Be an Action Hero. Tell us how you responded to street sexual harassment/ 'eve teasing'/ street sexual bullying/ intimidation/ aggression/ violation/

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BEING BLANK NOISE ACTION HEROES*********************************

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Blank Noise Action Hero via Kazakabin

via shop owner in Ludhiana

I could meet your eyes
unafraid, and smile
in recognition
the special kind
that strangers share

I could look at you
and feel a perfect
unbroken love,
the kind that springs
from common humanity

I could imagine,
your life and send
a silent hug, air-borne
to your children
who I will never meet.

But it's hard because
your eyes
burn a leer
into my breasts

It's hard because
your hands reach
where they shouldn't
This is my body.

It's hard because
I know that
alone in dark places,
you are a beast.