Action Hero Meenakshi

TALK TO ME

It was a nice winter afternoon and I was walking.

It didn't take more than a few seconds of walking and I saw a pair of eyes walking towards my breasts. I could feel his eyes on my anatomy from a distance and I chose not to fold my arms or bend my back.

I am sick of men talking to my breasts.

I continued to stare at his face while he walked towards me, his eyes consuming me. I felt sick and angry.

We passed each other and in that very split of a second I screamed- CAN YOU NOT LOOK AT MY FACE INSTEAD? BLOODY ASSHOLE!?!

He had a look of shock and had disappeared from sight before I knew it. Thank God I do not remember his face.

10 minutes later, it happened again. and then again. Another time I responded with a " kya hai?!"- what is it?!! (wtf?!)

These were young men, old men, rich men, not so rich men, the so called educated men, the so called uneducated men.


I love walking but I hate that the experience of walking is accompanied with stares; stares that don't focus on the face but at breasts. I don't like that it makes me aggressive. It is important to react.

Some women block it out and ignore. A grand aunt has been teaching her 10 year old grand daughter to never express anger in public. I suppose it makes her more 'lady like'.

I am interested in figuring out strategies that are non violent, based on wit rather than anger, that don't make me defensive or 'victim' but instead empower me...but sometimes I am left wondering whether it is really wrong to resort to the 'one -tight-slap' phenomenon. I haven't ever slapped a man- not because I've held my hand back- but because it isn't natural to me to raise my hand. I never raised it and pulled it back...it's just something I think I would never do.

Over the years I have responded with my eyes, my words, by taking photos and most importantly with an attitude that says 'im not afraid of you. i don't want to be afraid of you. i belong here.this is my territory.'

I don't ignore it, but I understand that some need to do it to carry on with their day to day life. And yet if we ignore instead of saying a big NO , how do we propose to address it?
One of the ways is that each of us REACT in our own action hero moments...this cannot be ignored.

I know its more calming to devise ways to not be on the street
and it is calming to block things out
but hey- I do want to be able to take a walk. and I will.