Action Heroes - Zindagi Live

Action Hero Neelima Kalapurakkal

Now it it is really difficult to keep track of all the times i have been abused. I shall list out the ones that made a dent in my psyche.

1. I was in 5th standard and we had to attend morning assembly everyday in the hot sun. Since i was suffering from fever i took permission and stayed back. One boy of XII std came to our classroom and sat beside me. I was still naive and answered his questions which he casually put forward. He later started sitting really close to me with his arms around and started asking for kisses. I declined, feeling shy. He didnt perster ( decent pervert??!) and left me alone. Though looking back, i know i should have slapped the guy. I kept it in me not having the courage to tell my class teacher. I did tell her later so she shifted me to a classroom on the ground floor.

Age: 10

Place: Kochi

2. This happened the next year. My mother and I went for a local fair. I was in my school uniform of a shirt and skirt. One middle aged fellow swiftly passed by me after grasping my crotch. I was too shocked and numb to respond that i couldn't even tell my mom. I lived with the shame. but something was growing inside me. Discontent.

Age: 11

Place: Kochi

3. This happened when i was in visiting another fair years later. It was really crowded and i had quite a few bags in my hand. One man grabbed my thigh and passed by me. I was so enraged that i hit him on his back with the bags i was carrying. He didnt turn back and it was too crowded to do anything. But i was exhilarated at my ability to respond.

Age: 14

Place: Kochi

4. fast forward a couple of years. I came to chennai to pursue my undergraduation and saw my same friend being sexually harassed time and again in buses, on roads etc she was the demure sort who used to weep thinking about it for days and she never used to tell me on time to rise a hullaboo. But once i saw it with my own eyes and i couldnt contain my anger. We were in Satyam cinemas and during interval, we came to the counter to get some popcorn. The gents' line was very long and we were the only ones in the ladies' queue with my friend standing in front of me. Just as she was ordering i saw a hand feeling up her bum. I was too shocked to respond that very second. she thought i was playing a trick on her. Then i comepletely lost control and shouted at the guy, " JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING???".

It is interesting to note that this middle aged guy was a very religious guy with chandan, kumkum and vibhooti ( holy dust) adorning his forehead. Hypocrite!! We both shouted at him asking what his problem was, whether he thought we were public property. Poor guy couldn't comprehend our English and started munching on his popcorn furiously! I wasnot very fluent in tamil that time to give good thrashing. Finally we thought we'd let him go when he muttered in his imperfect english, " sorry.. THANK YOU!!!!!" That enraged me further and i went and complained to the authority. 5-6 guards accompanied us with a torch. Our protagonist by this time had scrambled back to his seat. I prayed to god that he be with his family so that they come to know what sorta guy he really is. It was not so. Anyway the guard caught pulled him out and asked us what to do. We didnt want a police complaint so we told them to just throw him out. And they did, to our utter delight! He, who was watching the movie with a 120 Rs ticket where as we were watching with 10 Rs ticket! We were really exhilarated that justice, atleast in bits, can be found in this world.

Place: Chennai

Age: 20

5. I was walking to the hostel when a fellow on a cycle squeezed my bum and zoomed off. I was totally helpless but he kept looking back at me. That gave me the opportunity to really use up my stock of swear words, which unfortunately were not many and were not in tamil. Then i used the middle finger. First time! I dont even know if he understood it but i was happy that i responded, though still unsatisfied. The first thing i learnt after reaching hostel was a swear word in tamil of good standard!

Place:Chennai

Age: 21

6. My friends, a guy and a girl, and I were in busy Sultan Bazaar area to rent some ornaments for an upcoming event. Now the point to be noted is that the guy was sent with us as an appendage to 'protect us' with a ' male escort' as the area is notorious for eve teasing. As luck would have it, they were ahead of me on the pavement, i was some 8- 10 metres behind them. One guy of about 25 years came near me on a bike from behind, squeezed my bum and actually slowed down and leered at me. After the initial shock, i hit him on the back twice with what i had in my hand- a polythene bag full of clothes or something. He loudly guffawed and rode away. I felt dejected and consumed and with a sense of feeling that i didnt do much. Point to be noted- having a male beside me didn't really help. 

Place: Hyderabad

Age: 22

7. I was travelling on bus to Thiruvananthapuram from kollam for the first time and i was unsure about where to get down. It was a 3 seater; i was on the window seat, a guy of 23-25 sat near me, beyond him, another guy. I asked this fellow adjacent to me where the particular bus stop is and he replied that it is the 4th one. I went back to my sightseeing. After a while i felt a light touch on my left breast. Having paranoia all the time, i dismissed it as just an absurd feeling made up by my mind. But after a couple of seconds i jerked my head to the left and saw a hand withdrawing from, that's right, my left breast! I shouted at the top of my voice, used cliched dialogues like dont you have mother and sisters at home and many more choicest abuses. He trembled, muttered a mute sorry and then leaned his head on the seat as if I WAS ABUSING HIM and giving him a headache! meanwhile the fellow commuters and conducter stared at the hungama for a few minutes then turned back and pretended as if nothing had happened. But it was the conductor's reply that angered me the most. on telling him that such parasites shouldn't be allowed to travel on bus he coldly replied that he cant do anything and i am free to register a police complaint. I was new to the area and my destination had arrived so i climbed down indignantly with my bruised self respect. I should have done that, brought that wretch to book. I am determined that next time I WILL REGISTER A POLICE COMPLAINT. Enough is enough. High time we started raising our voice against them rather than being mute sufferers.

Place: Thiruvananthapuram

Age: 23

Current age: 24

Action Hero from South Mumbai

Me and a friend (both women) came home late one night after a film.. a male friend dropped us till the gate since it was late.. around 1 am. The gate was locked and our watchman was asleep. After some knocking and shouting, he finally opened his eyes and lying on his bed he told us "badi jaldi hai kya" (in a big hurry?). we ignored it the first time. but he still didn't move. we shouted out to him again, he got up this time, came to the gate and looked at us demeaningly through the bars and said "badi jaldi hai kya". Our male friend told him to talk properly and the watchman started abusing him. We realised he was drunk. He started accusing us of coming late in the night often and how he was doing a favour to us by opening the gate for us every time. basically he had 'judged' us for being the kind of girls who go out late and being drunk, he had no control over his tongue and all that he perhaps thought of us in his sick head, became vocalised. A verbal fight ensued.

The presence of a male friend eventually did help, but there were other things we did which contributed in dealing with the situation -

1. shouting out LOUD that he was drunk, so that we would wake up people and bring attention to the fact that he's drunk

2. threatening to call the police

3. next day, complained to our landlord

4. i also went and asked another watchman what this guy's full name was and didn't explain why i was asking for his full name. I wonder if that scared him off that maybe i was going to complain to the police... coz he didn't show up for two days after.

5. i continue to go out at night after that, just to show that he doesnt intimidate me

Time: 1 a.m.

Action Hero felt judged, anger, fear, unsafe, helpless

Location: South Mumbai

Age: 28 years

Action Hero Shria

This Incident happened in the gym in which i work out. There are mirrors all over the place and one can exactly see as to what others are doing. I was sitting on the cycle and working out when I noticed that a man's eyes were keenly following the movement of my breasts and I could see him staring at the outline of my bra which was visible because of my sweat.

The next day, I wore the Blank Noise t-shirt that says What are you staring at in Kannada. That still didn't make him stop looking at me. So, I decided to put posters of BN at the gym...I put it and someone tore it off in a few hours. Hence, I had to execute my plan 3 which was to distribute the letters (the letters that contain the action hero stories)....I carried around 4 letters with me and gave it to that guy. He was happy to receive letters from me and thought it was inviting. But once he started to read them, his expression changed entirely. I walked away.

The next day onwards, he stopped coming to the gym or maybe he chose a different time to work out.

Action Hero Shria felt happy!

current age-19

age at the time of experience-19

location- Bangalore

thank you Blank Noise.

Action Hero Playlist

Is there a song that puts you in the Action Hero mood? Let's build an action hero playlist.

It could be a song that uplifts you. A song that you like to hum when you take a walk. A song that reflects your attitude. A song that inspires you to take on an attitude. Any song that your Action Hero song. Send it! Let's SING!

If it's on youtube- send us the link. We'l add your name to the list below and link it to the song. if your action hero song isn't online, do write down the lyrics OR better still sing it yourself/ upload it and email the link.

Action Heroes playlist:

1. Monica Mody
2. Amruta Mehta
3. Annie Zaidi
4. yours?

Action Hero Sreyoshi Dey

Yet another day of pushing shoving nudging…every morning, the whole process passes in the picture window of my mind. Instances caught live in the camera of my eyes, and featured every day of my life. Sad truth!

I sat up. Moved out. Out on to the streets. Usual day, usual work. Running after a bus, get down and change for an auto and then run for the 10:30 am lecture. Easy life. Hard going.

Starts from the bus. They push against me, and I can say nothing. Anything said meets the reply, “it’s a crowded bus, where do you expect me to stand?”, and a leering smile follows. I box the man a hundred times in my imagination, in reality, am able to do nothing. Auto-the same old nudging, the same old pushing…no amount of bag and elbow can protect my dignity. I have given up.

OR have I? I have gotten tired of putting up this act of ignorance and adjustment.

Date: 4 years back

Place: Public bus

Event: I punched the middle aged man hard in the stomach, screamed myself hoarse, and caught him by the collar. A man old enough to my father, to have a family, and yet so shamelessly pushing against a young girl, considering her HELPLESS!

Result: The Man rushed off the bus without an appeal or apology. Co-passengers stared at me, all surprised – I don’t think they were surprised at my courage, but where surprised at my audacity to raise my voice.

Reaction: I was left shaking with anger and fear. It was my first time. I had finally found my voice. The incident re-instilled faith in my own self, the faith that I had lost since the age of six when I was first molested in a Public Transport.

Oath: Will not let go of any single person who hurts my dignity and self respect. I won’t adjust, I won’t ignore. I will fight back. Every time that I fight back, I know I will also ensure the safety of alteast two more women who would have been the next victims otherwise.

Action Hero Chitra

It was the day when I was scheduled to pick up my insurance money and buy a new phone. Naturally happy, I began to look forward to that part of the day. I got back from my university in a bus and started to walk home from the bus stop. I was wearing a red back-pack and long, up to the mid of my thigh, boy t-shirt, jeans and shoes. I was walking on the side of the road when I saw an old man walk a little ahead of me, he was almost my father’s age and wore a white collared t shirt and white shorts. What was odd about him was that he kept turning his balding head around and staring right at my chest by the 2nd time he did I looked down at my own chest to see if there was something written on my t shirt that he was trying to read (like a message t-shirt) but it was an almost plain grey t shirt with no print whatsoever on the chest. I grew uneasy, but the next time he turned back to look I asked him. “What are you looking at? “ With a SMILE on his face he answered “booooooobs” (yes, with an elongated ooo sound). I was shocked! the first feeling I always get is shock. Shocked that someone can say or do such a thing, hey I thought yesterday was Independence Day! Anyway as he smiled happy with his answer and looked ahead continued to walk. I sprang on him from behind and gave two and a half punches of the back of his head (medulla oblongata) all this time confused whether respect the elders clause would allow me to take such an action. He started to sprint as no old man has run before and continued to walk back home. I wish I could tell you that I went home bought a phone and lived happily ever after, but I didn’t.

I got home and oiled my hair ate a ton of food to counter the rage and decided to go out to buy the God forsaken phone. My lovely sister and a close friend wanted to company me. The three of us sat bundled in the auto. I was hugged my red bag for comfort as I sat towards the exit. My friend lit up a cigarette and started to smoke. I noticed there was a man on the bike following us from the last 1.5kms at least. I tugged closer at my bag, as if sensing my fear the man started to ride with the auto his bike right next to my legs. He kept extending his right arms towards the auto.

I was scared, but more furious I tried to grab hold of his hand so my friend could cigarette burn it, but it was too late and he had speed away. I don’t know whether it was the confidence of hitting an offender just an hour ago or just pure outrage that fuelled my fire. Just as luck would have it ahead was a traffic light and the signal was red. I handed the bag to my friend and asked my sister to get out of the auto; we started to look for the man who thought women were public property. My sister looked towards the right and I looked at the left side. I spotted the biker staring at the signal, before he could even see me I planted a solid, like never before, punch on his face. He fell with his bike scratching a car in the process and causing a loud thud. My sister came running as he gained his balance my sister took the keys off the ignition and I alerted the traffic policeman to ask the man. We were taken aside and I narrated my story as he pressed his hand on his jaw where I had punched him. The policeman congratulated me and asked me to wait as the s I was somehow due to me on the crossroads in a minute (because the governor’s house and office was on that road)

We waited, the offender spoke and in a very how can you do this to me tone, he said “bah… I am saying sorry no.. bah why you are doing this?....... you are so cunning bah” I guess my sister felt good as well when she threatened him that she would punch him this time, maybe it was revenge for all the times she was harassed. In the meantime the circle inspector came in his jeep and I explained the case to him, offender was made to sit in the jeep and his bike was ceased I had to write my name and address in a register. All the offender could say was, “take them also they were smoking” to which the cop paid no attention. I figured that whether or not any action is taken when he reaches the police station the inconvenience caused and the bribe given would be reason enough for him to think twice before he misbehaves. Two down, many more to go!

age at the time of experience: 22

current age: 22

location: streets of Hyderabad

time : afternoon

Action Hero felt shocked